For one reason or another, there’s a handful of Christmas albums that seem to crop up in my family every year. Among the ones that I loathe the most are The Barenaked Ladies’ “Barenaked for the Holidays,” which isn’t a bad album until you hear the same joke five days in a row (thanks, dad). I don’t know what it says about me that I don’t have a fondness for many of the big standard albums. I’m sure that Bing Crosby’s got one, but it means very little to me. I’ll just randomly play “White Christmas” and call it a day. There isn’t one that sits on my shelf, waiting for that day to come when I’ll fondly put it on and feel some comfort of the holiday season…
Well, there is one. Among the endless array of Christmas albums that have been released, there is only one that has continually been pulled down and played with mild affection almost every year. At this point it’s an heirloom that’s been passed down from my parents to me, allowing me to take in the warmth that they experienced at my age. I am, of course, talking about the Dr. Demento classic “The Greatest Christmas Novelty CD of All Time.”
Now, that sounds like hyperbole and for the most part, you wouldn’t be wrong. I want you to personally name a Christmas Novelty CD that has as much bang for its buck as this one, managing to fit such diverse talents onto one disc. I understand if you don’t find everything funny, but one can argue that very few have done more for comedy music than Dr. Demento.
I’ll confess that I’m too young to have experienced the Funny Five live, or that I really paid much attention to the show at all. However, the few times that I listened did instill a special love for a good joke song. For the life of me, Jef Jaisun’s “Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent” will always be funny just for how happy he sounds singing the chorus. I admire what he brought to the music genre, serving as the one radio DJ who had very eclectic taste. Nobody did it quite like him and, more importantly, gave humorists a platform to launch their careers (just look at Weird Al and his original hit “Another One Rides the Bus”).
While my family doesn’t have a lot of Dr. Demento memorabilia, they do have this Christmas Novelty CD that has somehow informed a lot of my tastes. Maybe it’s because it’s a PG-Rated album and is safe to play around the whole family during get-togethers, but there’s a good chance that if I had to pick a record to put on, it was that one, if for no other reason than I could tune out people and focus on the jokes, which maybe aren’t all that funny anymore, but I just love the structure of it all.
Okay, it may not seem that way if you’re just diving into the record now, in the years of overexposure to the songs on here that were never really funny, to begin with. It all kicks off with “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)” which you’ll all know as the inspiration for Alvin and the Chipmunks. Similarly, this album has Elmo & Patsy’s obnoxious “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” While I’m not nearly as annoyed by these two songs as the public writ large seems to be, `I definitely agree that they’re the most novelty of them all, reflecting one-note jokes stretched to their loosest dexterity. I have nothing to add to the bigger conversation other than they play well with kids, which you got to give Dr. Demento credit for.
As a curated album, it manages to be a great exploration of comedy history that feels very rooted in what was popular in 1989. In fact, it’s my introduction to a lot of these bigger artists that really knew how to be subversive with a holiday tune. The second song is by Spike Jones & His City Slickers with “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” and while it’s just as one-note as the opening song, I think it works for one reason. Jones (who is from my hometown Long Beach, CA, and a favorite of my grandmother) was one of the cleverest composers of the early 20th century, and his ability to turn classical music into a series of comical punchlines is infectious. The kid saying “teeth” with the wind blowing through in a lisp may be obvious, but it’s oddly charming if just because what kid cannot relate to wanting a way to express themselves clearly?
Then there’s The Singing Dogs with “Jingle Bells.” I bet you five no man’s alive who doesn’t know their name. It’s the masterpiece that has been misunderstood the most. Dogs deserve to have a great Christmas as well and this is their chance to sing from the backyards in harmony with each other. The editing alone is impeccable, making every fractured growl work in sync with the bells jingling in the background. The way that they manage to be aggressive while having a softness is impressive. Sure, this was a novelty song if there ever was one, but of everything on here, it’s the one that transcends language barriers, able to appeal to even the most staunch Christmas hater in your life. Jingle Cats like to think they can compare, but The Singing Dogs did it better first.
Before I start jumping around more, I also want to focus on the fourth song and one that plays into a very specific type of comedy that I love. Most love Allan Sherman for “Camp Granada,” but I’ll always think about his take on “The Twelve Gifts of Christmas,” a play on “The Twelve Days of Christmas” that is so shamelessly full of consumerism. The way that it's hocking cheesy merchandise never ceases to impress me, and I’ll always love how there’s a vocal emphasis on the first-day replacement: and a Japanese transistor radio! I don’t even know if it fits the rhythmic structure and yet the rushing of words together is so charming. Things like “a statue of a lady, with a clock where her stomach ought to be” is such a crafty image that makes you admire the Mad Libs chaos of this whole thing all the more.
'
Similarly, Bob & Doug McKenzie of SCTV fame have their own version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” with a Canadian spin on it, where the first day is “a beer in a tree.” I want to like it more, but when you follow Sherman’s overcompensating hit, it’s very difficult. Also, it’s intentionally understated, finding them practically singing through their own holiday inebriation.
Another song on here that I can’t explain why I like AT ALL is “I’m a Christmas Tree” from Wild Man Fischer, which is just this deranged minute-long track about a man comparing himself to various holiday plants. He’s also at some point a Chanukah bush and, to be totally honest, I have never not thought of Chanukah bushes ever since. What are they? Where did they come from? As you can tell, I’m goy. Still, I’d love to know why the most half-hearted song on here is the one that has been lodged the most effectively in my brain.
As someone who likes other Cheech & Chong-related media, I’m also not necessarily a fan of “Santa Claus and His Old Lady,” which is the track that I most often skip over. Whereas I’ve listened to their 1972 album a few times, I can’t imagine listening to them riff for six minutes about Santa Claus. I have no idea why, but I hear Cheech Marin sing and immediately skip over it. Given that this album has “The Chipmunk Song,” it’s saying something. Maybe it’s just the length to which everything falls.
Then, of course, there’s the gem of “Christmas at Ground Zero” that finishes everything off with this tongue-in-cheek hit. Of every artist on here, Weird Al is the only one besides Cheech & Chong and Bob & Doug McKenzie who is still active in the culture. That’s quite impressive to see this as a transition between old and new guards, all coming together to take potshots at holiday merriment. Still, nobody did it more nihilistically than Weird Al, and the sound of bombs dropping has this haunting quality. It’s a very dark joke that may seem insensitive by today’s standards. Then again, I’m pretty sure Weird Al also wrote a song about a homicidal Santa, so he wasn’t above this insanity.
Everything in-between is fine and overall this album mostly works if you’re into the more eccentric side of comedy. Still, if you compare it to every other major Christmas comedy album, it actually ranks pretty high. Maybe it’s just because Dr. Demento knew how to curate talented comedians, but he managed to make an album that parodied consumerism, violence, dogs and chipmunks singing about their own holiday desires, and so much more. Again, I don’t know that it’s all that funny at times, but it puts me in a good holiday mood.
My goal this December is to focus on Christmas albums that stand out for one reason or another, and I’m sure that there will be something more substantial to say about those. For now, I felt like starting with something personal, that has resonated with my family for years now. I’ve practically memorized this album, and I think it’s indicative of my love to explore old comedy, looking for those people who transcend time with good jokes. Not everyone has been able to hold that honor, but for the most part, this record achieves that goal. It really is the greatest Christmas Novelty CD both in terms of quality and songs that have staked their claim in pop culture ever since. Dr. Demento wasn’t lying about that.
Comments
Post a Comment