To be completely honest, every month in 2021 has had an incredible illusion. It’s not necessarily unique to me, but one that makes me surprised to know that we are officially through 2/3 of the year. What a time to be alive, when so much is going on and nobody is really sure what most of it means.
Are we doomed to continue wearing masks for the next year until Coronavirus goes down? It’s not like I stopped. Still, we are further along in how we respond to things than even a year ago. For one, the comfort of vaccinations exists, the idea that it’s not a total death sentence anymore gives me hope. Sure, the world is catching up to my general skepticism that fast-tracking recovery doesn’t mean things would automatically return to normal. There is no long-term evidence to even suggest that we’re where The CDC wants us. In fact, there’s been a spike in cases that prove our own naivety. I’m nervous about The Fall. What if this was all premature?
To be completely honest, it’s hard to not begin by focusing on the various things that are currently making me insecure. The other noteworthy development is that we are unfortunately in fire season again. Over a dozen states are being impacted by wildfires with California’s big one being The Dixie Fire.
I hope to write a piece later on about this, but something that brings out anxiety in me is fire season. I am thankful to admit that I have never been in direct danger of a massive wildfire. Still, when it’s in YOUR state every year and early reports make you believe that it will never be more than 5% contained during a drought, it gives caution. How soon until it moves down the coast to Long Beach? The basic function of a fire is so fragile that anything could throw it into chaos. Given that the smoke clouds often carry for dozens of miles, I’m expecting a few days in October and November to be overcast and murky. Given that I had a bad reaction to the overwhelming use of fireworks this year (sound and smell), I imagine how trapped that is going to make me feel. Given how emotionally unstable I’ve been this year, I worry that I’ll just relapse.
But July wasn’t nearly as miserable as all this would suggest. Sure, I found myself not really tolerating the heat all that much. With that said, I did what I could to be productive while still being cool.
For readers, I suppose that the most noteworthy is that The Memory Tourist FINALLY relaunched. It has been a long time coming, but I needed to mentally prepare myself in a way that would make the regular work tolerable. I just wasn’t in the correct headspace to churn out a near two dozen articles a month. Part of it was still questioning who would even read it, what value my voice would add to the discourse. Another part was trying to determine a structure that actually satisfied ME first and foremost. I want this website to be an expression of my interests and my life. I like to think that in the short window it has been active, that I’ve gotten there in some shape or form.
If anything, the output has felt rewarding. Even my go for broke pieces about oddball shows like Sexy Beasts and The Choe Show (live at 10 A.M.) have given me some satisfaction. I’m feeling adventurous again as I look at my structure then use it to determine how much further I can go from it. I’ve come to realize that I missed writing about The NBA, even if I think that I’m too simple-minded to actually produce a regular perspective. Even discovering that there were others that enjoyed The Owl House made me feel like for as much as I don’t have the biggest audience, I still have something valuable to share. Finally, I attended live theater for the first time since March 2020, and publishing a review felt great because it allowed you to see a side of me that’s been a bit dormant.
I’m proud of myself and the work that I’ve done. It’s been exciting to see how people respond to my work again, watching every new article make some traction and feel like the website is organic again, constantly shuffling through articles that I would proudly share months from now. That’s the thing about my previous approach on Optigrab. I wrote TOO much to the moment and I think that it impacted my overall sustainability. Now I’m able to look back at articles I wrote a year ago and smile, realizing that they may not be brilliant but at least evergreen. Given that my goal was in part to work similar to Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place, I have achieved that even if I’m far from his level of self-made clout.
For the rest of this post, I thought that I would shift attention to various other things that have been going on that haven’t necessarily gotten coverage in the rest of the website (or yet anyways). As mentioned, July has been quite an interesting month of discovery and fun activities. Given that I turned 32 on July 8, it’s been a period of celebration and eagerness to look towards the future, hopefully making the most of the next era of my life. For me, every year (both of the individual and the calendar) are markers in my personal narrative and I like to see how I’ve changed and what I’ve achieved. It’s a nostalgic period, but also one with high hopes.
I would be remiss if I didn’t speak briefly about one of my favorite moments in pop culture this month. Netflix decided to produce three films by Leigh Janiak based on R.L. Stine’s “Fear Street” series. While some of it falls too much into pastiche, it was an exciting thing to anticipate week to week with each film focusing on a different decade: 1994, 1978, and 1666. It encapsulated various horror elements in a way that was unified by Stine’s overarching story and it was very satisfying for me. I’d even go so far as to argue that 1666 gave me The Witch (2015) vibes, and that’s a very good thing.
Something that made them even better was the fact of how queer they were. The whole series centers around a lesbian couple with supporting characters that include a noteworthy non-binary co-star in 1978. As much as this is another underdog story, I feel like Stine’s goal is ultimately to comment on horror’s absence of queerness, allowing them to have agency in these period pieces. They are heroes, not victims or sidelined characters. It’s cathartic on top of giving me something to anticipate on a week-to-week basis for the near month. I hope more entertainment considers a strategy like this because it definitely made summer way more exciting.
Another noteworthy thing to mention is The Olympics. I come from a family who is obsessed with it, in small part because my mother ran the torch for The 1984 Los Angeles Games. Still, the idea of watching countries from around the world compete gives a unique chance to see talent and notice that America isn’t always the best at things. Sure we have Katie Ledecky, but other countries have some impressive skills. For what it’s worth, Slovenia may even have a better Men’s Basketball Team simply because that’s who my man Luka Doncic is playing for right now.
There was concern that the ceremony would be a mess given that Japan is suffering a strong outbreak of COVID-19 cases. So far, it has been less concerning than I thought. Even then, it makes what works feel like a miracle. The opening ceremony was great and I didn’t realize how emotional I would get watching a crowd dance. For what it’s worth, dance as an art form has always felt powerful to me and, so long as it’s not a slipshod flash mob, has the power to move me. I wish I could dance that good. It takes so much confidence in yourself just to let yourself move that freely.
With that said, some of the shenanigans regarding The Olympics’ safety protocols are funny to me. Apparently, they don’t want athletes hooking up so they made “anti-sex” beds out of cardboard. As an asexual, this makes me laugh. Even then, I get it from a consensual standpoint given that these athletes are highly stressed and bottle up certain urges until after they complete one of the biggest moments of their entire lives. I’m not against it, but it’s still so darn cute to think how uncontrollable certain people’s desires are.
I want to shift a little bit yet again. As of this publication, there have been certain developments regarding Simone Biles and The Women’s Gymnastics Team. I have not read whether she will continue to compete or has bowed out entirely. With that said, she has gained attention for choosing not to play following a brief haphazard run. In my circles, the general consensus has been positive and I for one encourage emphasizing mental health over exhaustion, of pushing yourself just because someone demands you to. I have never been in a state of pressure as big as Biles, so I cannot speak for how she feels personally. Just from my perspective, I notice how damaging it can be to ignore your body’s needs – especially when they’re potentially injurious physically.
She made the right choice and I can only imagine what other pandemic-based pressure she has been going through. I am humbled by the amount of positive feedback she has received and I personally want to curse anyone who is insensitive to mental health struggles. As I’ve seen going around on Twitter: people cry about someone committing suicide but never show compassion to stop them from experiencing the emotions that would lead them to it. I cannot speak for the severity of this in relation to Biles, but it feels true.
I’m similarly positive on Naomi Osaka’s recent comments as well about bowing out of Wimbledon over depression. It’s honestly made me respect her more and the fact that she lit The Olympic Torch only shows how much a person is capable of. She isn’t weak because she’s depressed. It’s just part of life and we need to respect and treat it properly. I’m curious to check out the Netflix documentary on her which may or may not be the subject of my next Something Worth Mentioning provided that it’s actually thought-provoking.
Other than that, I’m just trying to find ways to be happy. In some ways, I honestly have gotten some optimism in my life from Biles and Osaka’s public vulnerability. I have my good and bad days and I love the idea of knowing that they can push through and maybe I can as well.
Random good news that I’ll end on is that we are less than a month (supposedly) from Billie Eilish’s “Happier Than Ever.” Lorde also released a new song called “Stoned At the Nail Salon” and I’m in love with the title. Finally, Courtney Barnett completes the circle of my favorite artists releasing work in 2021 with “Things Take Time, Take Time.” Along with Lana Del Rey, I am more than stacked with enough music to get me through the rest of the year.
Finally, I’m happy to know that actor-writer Wentworth Miller recently came out as autistic. I don’t have strong feelings of him in general, but he did write the screenplay for Stoker (2013), which is one of my favorite movies. Now that this is confirmed, I’m proud to say that my read that Mia Wasikowska’s India is autistic-coded now makes total sense. It may play into negative stereotypes once or twice, but it largely feels like one of the most artful neurodivergent films I’ve seen not named The Reason I Jump (2021).
That was my July. It was a fairly good summer all things considered and I cannot believe how close we are to the end of the year. Given how much time I’ve spent self-reflecting and trying to grow personally, it feels like everything has flown by so fast. At the same time, July has felt like an eternity. A good kind of forever, but one that would never end. As I start up new projects that I might discuss in August, I hope that I make the most of the home stretch and that I can enter 2022 in a much better mood. I wish only the same for you!
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