Indie Spotlight: “Shiva Baby” (2021)

There hasn’t been a greater epicenter for why I wanted to return to theaters than Shiva Baby (2021). Watching the film, I became nostalgic for being in a theater with like-minded individuals, hearing that smattering of laughter and applause as we watched Rachel Sennott navigate one of the most nauseating Shivas ever committed to screen. There was an intensity, a claustrophobia that I imagined would be amplified by a theater, surrounded by strangers who you knew nothing about except that they loved oddball indies. They were here intentionally and knew how to have a good time with this anxious, hair-pulling nightmare masquerading as a comedy. It is quintessentially what I go to the movies for.

I’m sure that there are dozens of bigger movies that people would return to the theaters for. They’re types that prefer spectacle, wanting to take in every detail and notice what The Hollywood System can pull off. I’m not faulting them. Those movies can be cool too. However, I longed to see Shiva Baby in a theater for similar reasons that I love local theater. It’s genuinely where the truly ambitious art is being made, where characters can be more flawed and story structures take risks. Also, as someone with a deep well of social anxiety, there is something relatable to the sensation of feeling like knives are constantly out, your parents and family judging you for not being where you should be in your career. Being in a theater, for better or worse, affirms that I’m not the only one who feels that way.

To be completely transparent, I am not Jewish. I am at best a lapsed Catholic with very conflicted feelings around faith. Even then, I’ve had a strong affection towards Judaism as a religion in part because I’ve had friends that invited me to Passover in high school. There was also something about films like Fiddler on the Roof (1971), A Serious Man (2009), and Disobedience (2018) that felt very relatable or at least empathetic, this reflection on the absurdity of life. There is something especially about Reformed Jews that makes me curious to learn their contemporary place in the world. How do they grapple with the conflicts of the world? 

Enter Danielle (Sennott), who feels like one of the most familiar depictions of The Modern Woman. In an age where Millennials are accused of killing industries and wanting to destroy the patriarchy with pronouns, Danielle feels like a common stand-in that rarely gets depicted in cinema. For starters, who would want such an embarrassing protagonist, one who is often desperate for rent money and trying to validate herself with hollow accomplishments. Most people I know in their Late-20s are lost in some form, unable to really understand where they want to go in the world because the world feels like it’s constantly screwing them over. Nothing can be perfect, and it’s only gotten worse since 2020 and Coronavirus. Quite frankly, the claustrophobia of Shiva Baby feels even more painful now that there’s no escape from a deadly virus.

I have never been to a Shiva. The closest that I can say to have been to is a post-funeral reception where everyone gathers to share stories. At least in my experience, these often come across more as small banquets with order, where after four hours everyone takes off and returns to their life. At times that sounds intolerable, so I cannot imagine a family going days sitting in mourning, watching friends and family walk in and out in this somber mood. I’m sure there’s more to it, but Shiva is in theory a great tribute to the deceased but stands to put you into close proximity with people you can’t stand, only tolerating them around the holidays because family is love (I guess). I can only imagine that once you add generational divides it becomes the most passive aggressive headache one could go through.

Of course, for director Emma Seligman, it’s going to be more than sitting around having family accost Danielle because she’s gained too much weight or hasn’t landed a dream job yet. There are going to be layers as forms of her life all intersect, reminding her of an inferiority in the greater context of The Jewish Community. There is, of course, her family. However, there’s also the plight of a bisexual who has two exes randomly there. When one is a “sugar daddy” that pays her way through life, it becomes complicated for her to establish dominance and meaning in her life, realizing that she is reliant on a man, a trope of sorts given her desire to be taken seriously as a strong independent woman. Then again, everything she says is a front. She desperately wants to be left alone, able to take a breather from family who don’t notice the sweat pouring down her brow, a lip being bitten as she partakes in the cuisine. Think that dealing with family for a few hours is bad, try going to a Shiva where it feels like it could be the figurative death of her. 

This whole movie is quintessentially a Rube Goldberg Machine of Murphy’s Law. As her personal identity is torn apart, she is constantly thrown from one scenario to the next. When she’s required to take care of someone’s infant, it leads to a messy shirt. As she texts in the bathroom, hoping to escape this miserable place, everything else is being set up. Her family is accusing her of hooking up with women in the back room, thinking that she’s too noncommittal and dirtying a sanctified event. Everything falls apart and Danielle has to clean up most of the messes. Her reserved nature doesn’t hide the frustration, perfectly being pent up in her shoulders, waiting for a release. All she has to do is escape.

Credit should be given to how Seligman is able to make everything feel like a haunted house. The ensemble is so incredibly strong that every small eccentricity is designed to get under your skin. Watching Danielle nod at comments that she’s getting fat feels painfully familiar, realizing that if she can repress her urges that everything will work out. It’s in these moments however that one can gather how much Danielle has repressed likely since childhood, at least since adulthood where she jumped ship after high school, trying to prove she was the genuine article. It hides behind the smiling faces of actors like Fred Melamed and Polly Draper, believing they mean well when they’re only harming the younger generation. It’s a vicious cycle and one that isn’t all that self-aware when it comes to figuring out how to break free.

It comes in obnoxious phrases repeating themselves, of small physical tics that are noticeably off-putting. The people desiring perfection are far from perfection, and it only makes one wonder why they should be listened to. Why does Danielle love them? In some ways it explains her exes, all gathered in a room. Their existence taunts her, realizing that almost everyone she knows is doing better than her. Meanwhile, she seems destined to be alone or, at very least, crammed into the backseat of a minivan with her girlfriend. She will never escape this level of bickering, this world that wants better for her but doesn’t really offer up many answers.

More than any other genre of cinema, I’ve greatly missed the character pieces. These are the stories that most speak to my soul, finding a connection with a world outside my own and needing to find that acceptance, that validation with your peers. There may be happier movies that give satisfying conclusions, but Shiva Baby embodies an exploration of the self that provides a compelling understanding of a generation. There are times when Danielle maybe seems unlikeable, but Seligman is capable of making her first and foremost relatable. For young adults struggling to find purpose in the world, films like Shiva Baby are familiar. Even those who succeed may feel in some ways like a fraud, unable to come to family dinner with grand accomplishments. They’re young and in their prime, what do they have to complain about?

Given how theaters are catering less and less to indie cinema, the chances of me seeing a Shiva Baby with a packed room is feeling less and less likely. There’s just not a viable market for the lonely cinephile who wants intimate stories full of mental chaos. I know that this movie isn’t for everyone, but for those that do, I feel a small connection. It may seem like a fleeting experience and one where nothing special happens, but it captures perfectly the identity of a person. Everyone who has shaped her existence is in this room and where most people would like to keep the different strings separate, she has no choice but to deal with them all head-on, doing her best to push everything from falling off a cliff. Nobody wants to admit that their life is a mess, believing that it should be a lot better. For those who gather to Shiva Baby, who’s to say that they’re not in some ways admitting that it’s a familiar feeling?

When the film hit HBO Max (on my birthday no less), it beat Kajillionaire (2020) as the coolest movie on the platform. What I’ve noticed is the slow emerging fondness that others share. Maybe they don’t love it, but there’s an appreciation of this small indie that is honestly what drives me as a movie fan. I love hearing people discuss talented filmmakers who stand to have great potential in the years ahead. So far in 2021, there hasn’t been someone who I am more eager to see evolve than Seligman, who clearly knows how to build an ensemble, play with tone, and make a small story feel greater than its premise would suggest. There have been many great films out this year, but few have impressed me as much as a story of running away from your family, your friends, and even yourself. At some point, it all catches up to you, and dealing with it is going to be a heaping mess. Why not try and have a sense of humor about it?