For me, the past week has been a special period for one sole reason. It was the first time that I was aware of and participated in Ace Week. Usually held the final week of October, it is a time when asexuals around the world come together to raise awareness and push for tolerance and understanding about the community. While I have mostly been doing odd pieces on here, I also tried to connect with others via social media, finding plenty of new faces that I hope to connect with and follow for the months to follow.
Since this will be my last piece for Ace Week, I thought that I would dedicate some space to recognizing a handful of creators who have helped to give me confidence. As someone fairly new to their identity, I am well aware of how having someone who openly discusses asexuality can be liberating, making you feel less alone or broken. For me, these are people that have popped up in the odd corners of my rummaging and have bettered my understanding, whether around the ace identity, or various other topics. Not everyone I will mention talks exclusively about LGBTQIA+ topics, but at some point, they have mentioned their personal connection.
Obviously, there are dozens and hundreds more that I haven’t even begun to explore. This is not meant as a complete or even comprehensive list of creators, but simply ones who stood out to me. I’m sure if given a little more time, this list would grow and even be more inclusive. For now, these are the names I would ask for you to check out if you’re curious to support the community and learn a thing or two about this wonderful world.
I think that it’s only best to start at the video that started it all. Before I began exploring asexuality, I was understanding autism. While many YouTube creators had great takes on current events, I have always been a fan of Yo Samdy Sam, who looks at neurodivergence from a well-researched and psychological standpoint. She’s deconstructed the DSM-5 and introduced me to concepts like alexithymia and aphantasia. Another thing that she did was demisexuality, which she explored in correlation to autism. As I’ve mentioned a few times before, it’s a video that changed my life, if just because I found myself relating to it, eager to know how well it applied.
It is 10 months later and it’s safe to say that it was a good move. While she produces less content these days (she’s on maternity leave), I find her work invaluable and am eager to see whatever new projects she has in store.
Another creator who I feel has an interesting take is Rowan Ellis. Most of her general content focuses on LGBTQIA+ representation, including in-depth explorations around concepts like queerbaiting and whether Disney+’s Loki was good or bad representation. With videos that often feature detailed history not only of media but cultural beliefs, she is unmatched for placing queerness into a bigger context. This is also the case for a great recent video where she explores asexuality in media, going through a short yet exhaustive history of the tropes while pondering if there ever was great representation. She claims that more ace-related videos are on the way, though her general content has been ace friendly and has been included in larger queer topic conversations.
Some other voices to keep an eye out for include The Lunarium. It should be noted that her output is infrequent, largely due to her prioritizing mental health and stability right now. However, her perspective has included exploring topics around depictions of mental health in media as well as various struggles in her own life (warning: discussions of self-harm and depression). One of my favorite videos of hers involves exploring how Catra of Netflix’s She-Ra and the Princesses of Pop is a great depiction of borderline personality disorder. While she has been candid about the future of her channel being unknown, I look forward to anything she produces.
Finally, Voice Memos for the Void is maybe one of my favorite underseen channels. The videos are often long monologues, presenting essays on topics that include Black representation in media along with teen fiction. She has even ventured recently into exploring sexuality in media, including tropes around bisexuality. With all of that said, the video that captured my interest with her involved a detailed look at how critical she was of the asexuality representation in Selah and the Spades (2020). While I recently wrote that I loved the film, I think it’s a worthwhile watch just to see a differing opinion, especially as it relates to Black women stereotypes – which is something I barely took into consideration.
The remainder of these creators are voices that I have found through other means, including TikTok and Instagram. While most cater to making videos, they are generally more directly focused on identity. They emphasize education and presenting a positive image for what the ace community should be working towards.
The most popular voice of the group is Ace Dad Advice. As an “elder asexual,” he has a unique perspective that in itself is comforting. There are many stereotypes around asexuality such as that it’s a phase, that we will grow out of it, it only applies to women, or that we’ll die alone. By simply existing and sharing his story, Ace Dad proves so much of that wrong and often with a friendly demeanor. I know him mostly through TikTok where he answers submitted questions and encourages younger people to not be afraid to explore their identity. Given that I was 31 when my journey started, there is something validating about knowing people older than me who are welcoming, presenting an example of how to age gracefully as an asexual.
In general, he has had plenty of overlap with almost everyone else on here. He is well-educated and even better spoken. His demeanor is friendly and his fairly new YouTube channel where he answers questions in greater detail has become an invaluable resource.
@asexualmemes Reply to @justchaotic A lot of people asked for this one! 😂 ##wtf ##wtfseries ##fyp ##fypシ ##foryou ##foryoupage ##queer ##pridemonth ##foryourpride ##lgbtq
♬ Act 2: In the Hall of the Mountain King - Edvard Grieg
Probably my favorite of the TikTok asexual creators is Asexual Memes. Another “elder ace,” she usually takes more of a comic approach to education. A lot of it hits similar beats, creating affirmation and helping viewers understand asexuality in clearer terms. She has been at the forefront of this Ace Week by presenting questions that encourage public discourse based around the community along with highlighting other creators deserving of love, like the equally charming Visibly Ace.
However, her biggest achievement has been a series called “Allos Explain Yourselves” where she poses scenarios she’s noticed in allosexual society. While largely comical, they are often moments where asexuals get to collectively ponder a world that sometimes seems foreign. Examples usually are based around sexual urges and turning innocent situations into something perverse. If nothing else, these humorous ponderings raise interesting questions about societal norms in lighthearted ways. Better yet, it does make for some lively discussions in the comments section.
@monicatheteacher if I ever teach preschool the kids are gonna line up by eye color or some other irrelevant biological attribute ##normalizers ##autism ##gender ##bigender
♬ original sound - Normalizers
Moving into a more generalized form of discourse is a channel called Monice the Teacher. Whereas most of the mentioned examples focus on one person sharing their thoughts, what makes this series so enjoyable is the approach. Monica is a mother who spends the video answering questions of her non-binary daughter. They usually are based around more general LGBTQIA+ matters, including current events as well as their personal experiences with identity. It was earlier this year that Monica came out as demisexual and has been encouraging others to explore their identity, regardless of age.
It should be noted that there are other subsets of channels she does that are more focused on comprehensive sex education. While this started on TikTok, the limitations forced her to move to other places, including a podcast. I personally find her to have one of the more accessible formats when discussing these topics, if just because of the simple Q&A approach where she plays an encouraging, approachable teacher, willing to help anyone out.
In terms of younger creators, there is a handful that are busting stereotypes around what it means to be asexual. They are proud of their identity and there’s something encouraging about watching them celebrate, jumping between answering questions to performing goofy dances and trends. Near the top of that list is Sixfootsauropod (Clara Dehlin), who has been a delight to watch as she expresses her identity (including busting myths that aces can’t dance). She is currently attending university where she has done a great presentation on the overview of asexuality and aromanticism, available on YouTube. Other creators that I recommend checking out include Angsty Ace and The Ace Raven.
Moving into the podcast world, I would recommend checking out Sounds Fake But Okay. Even in their more rambling episode, their open-hearted discussion of asexuality is a great warm hug to begin every week. I have only been listening since June, but they have become a nice addition to my line-up. The duo is made up of an aroace and demisexual discussing everything to do with identity and the bigger world. Among the older episodes that I’ve listened to include topics like why Little Women (2019) is an asexual movie as well as the intersection between sexuality and autism. They are also how I discovered that they were making an asexual movie called Dear Luke Love Me, for which I donated money to and have high hopes for.
It is because of the dozen or so names I’ve mentioned that I’ve learned so much about asexuality as an identity and have grown to accept it as valid. If you know of someone who you feel does a great job of spreading the love, please let me know. I enjoy opening my circle and hearing as many perspectives as I can. There’s a lot of personality in the ace community, and I know that I’m only beginning to understand it all. To those who have made my first Ace Week enjoyable, I want to say thank you. It’s been a fun period and I’m glad to know there’s many more out there. Hopefully, I’ll only continue to discover more and maybe be even prouder of my identity. For now, I enjoy knowing how many great voices are out there. I hope that if you’re looking for people that this helps you on your journey. If not, I hope it just makes your timelines more entertaining. I love being ace, and part of that has to do with simply knowing I’m not alone in this world.
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