There’s a lot that can be said about August, but what it sincerely feels like sometimes is a hangover. Whereas May through July is presented as this fantastical portrait of summer, there is something about August that is almost farcical in nature. At least in Southern California, the weather cranked up to some of its worst degrees in quite a while. Amid a drought and ongoing fire season, where cases of Monkeypox continue to rise and COVID-19 is still not quite at 0%, it feels like everything is stuck in the familiar. For me personally, this was a time where I was beginning to wrap up summer plans while also experiencing some of my worst fatigue in a long time.
Because there is one trope that’s common among autistic types. If you have an open day but an appointment at 5 P.M., there is something about that day that feels immediately limiting. You have seemingly nine hours to do whatever you want, but are you going to do anything about it? Sure, relaxing is fine but what about being productive and doing something that makes your life feel more eventful? Alas, that is what Mid-August feels like for me because it is that period where summer inevitably must end for me (one last time, at least). I must begin to look forward to school and contemplate what I’m going to do with the next four months of my life.
It's a bittersweet period because I get to do all of the last-minute things I’ve been dying to do. However, it’s also that time where I have to limit what I actually can so that I can get into the mindset of a student. In short, I have been very much stuck in a fatigued state for the past two weeks because of this. I have time to write The Great American Novel™. I have time to take up ambitious projects, but instead, I am relaxing, breathing in and breathing out, one last time before I am inundated with weekly assignments and commutes to the wonderful campus of Cal State Long Beach. Don’t get me wrong. I love going there, but it’s been difficult to even show up in this heat and walk to the Liberal Arts buildings without some facet of Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” playing in my head because, you know what, this school was designed for that one.
As of this publication, there isn’t any great campfire stories to share with the world. So instead, I am going to be discussing a variety of things I did to end Summer 2022 on as great of a note as I possibly can. While not the most noteworthy, I did have the pleasure of seeing some great cinema in one of the most underwhelming summer years on record. Along with The Bob’s Burgers Movie (2022) and Nope (2022) last month, I also enjoyed Prey (2022) which played into my unabashed love of a good monster movie. Dan Trachtenberg is one of the few film critic podcasters-turned-filmmakers who is genuinely doing something brilliant (also, check out /Filmcast if you haven’t).
Then there were two films that soaked up all of my attention. Good Luck to You Leo Grande (2022) was a big surprise for me. It’s not because it was an adult conversation about sexual desire that took time for nuance, but more that it felt like one of the most demisexual films I’ve seen since coming out. Admittedly the film isn’t designed as such, but this idea runs through the whole film and reflects each character’s vulnerabilities in a way that speaks to me. I’ve always preferred the “people talking around a table” style of storytelling, so this delivers greatly. It also doesn’t help that I read prior to that E.L. James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” which is one of the most compellingly awful books I’ve read for how inefficiently anything of substance happens after the first 70 pages. With that said, there’s a passage early on where Anastasia Steele describes her dating life that also reads as relatively demisexual, which makes it disappointing that my only takeaway was: Are all fans of “Tess of D’Urbervilles” this vapid? Still, I love the contrast of how partners negotiating a relationship is done poorly (“Grey”) and well (Leo Grande). With that said, if anyone wants a top-notch movie about S&M relationships after James let you down, check out The Duke of Burgundy (2015). I assure you that it’s leagues better.
Also in lieu of wanting to go to the theaters, I saw Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022). Why? Because I’m an A24 shill I guess (Happy 10th anniversary!). In all seriousness, the cast is full of performers that have made some of my favorite Post-Pandemic cinema and I wanted to see them in a thriller-comedy. It was also an excuse to hear Slayyter and Charli XCX in surround sound, but I was in for the whole ride, this chaotic murder mystery where it’s only underwhelming if you’re about the plot. As someone who is for the vibes, I loved everything that the film did and how every character feels like some facet of TikTok comments sections jumping on each other over false claims. It escalates so meticulously that I couldn’t help but feel engrossed. Also, I love that Rachel Sennott is getting the love she deserves – especially after Shiva Baby (2021) became one of my favorite films of the past few years – and I can’t wait to see what she does with the HBO series The Idol later this year (with Hari Neff!). To be honest, it’s not totally out of the realm of reason that I will write a review for this at some point.
To jump around, it continues to be appalling that people like Marjorie Taylor Green present anti-trans legislation that threatens rights. The harmful rhetoric has been stirring for years now, but she has made some of the first attempts at national offenses that I hope doesn’t catch on. As many will have me know, this is a warning of what life could be like if Republicans win this fall. I hate how vindictive it is and how much animosity is being developed. Given that there’s states that are already having this impact on cisgender women, accidentally or not, it’s a sign of how things are backsliding. Roe vs. Wade is overturned, but what’s to say that everything else isn’t on the chopping block? It’s a scary time and just because somebody of notoriety in Florida got caught stealing classified documents and got raided by the F.B.I., it doesn’t mean that one potential small win is the end of it. I’m nervous because everyone deserves rights. It’s scary out there.
Similarly, there is both hope and despair still to be had in the Brittney Griner situation. While there have been talks (privately and out of my knowledge) of a hostage negotiation, she is still stuck there amid Russia’s ongoing war with Ukraine. Sure, Dennis Rodman humored that he’d go and help her out, but nothing has officially been done. I’m hoping things work out because it’s been a scary time. More than just being a WNBA fan who is enthusiastic about seeing pride represented more than one month per season, I am happy that they keep awareness up for her, and I can only hope this illogical imprisonment gets worked out in an ethical and safe way. It’s been a good season but I can only imagine how much better it would be with her in it.
Side note: I’m rooting for The Las Vegas Aces to take this whole season. They’ve been amazing and Kelsey Plum is having a banner year. I know that they’re facing The Seattle Storm in Sue Bird’s final year, but I got to root for my team.
Also, I would like to make it clear that if you’re not watching Reservation Dogs, then I strongly suggest that you do. It’s been a phenomenal show for a whole season and so far it’s looking to continue that path. Sterlin Harjo is one of the more promising voices I’ve seen on TV in quite some time. I have also finally started watching Succession and it genuinely is one of the most compelling dramas HBO has released in quite some time. It reminds me why I used to be obsessed with watching as many of their classics as possible, if just for how well this ensemble works together. Oh yeah, and of course, Nicholas Britell's score is amazing (I love that man). L to the O-G, everyone!
Another significant announcement is that I’ve officially listened to the OBCR for Fun Home. Having now seen Hadestown twice, I am trying to find another show to get my hopes up for and while A Strange Loop is on that list, I haven’t fallen in love with it as much as Fun Home. Every minute of it is beautiful and I love the sense of discovery that develops over every song. It’s so raw and honest, capturing emotions that hit me on a very personal level. Of course, I’m a cliché queer in that way. It’s a show about working things out and I definitely feel invested in Allison Bechdel’s journey throughout all of that. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to cry and feel overwhelmed by a second act this much. With all of this said, I may be a bit off the beaten path as far as favorite songs go and say that “Telephone Wire” really hits hard. I love how it’s repressing thought in this rhythmic cadence, suggesting the final moments of regret in such powerful manners. The whole album is incredible, but this moment is so perfectly constructed that I just have to give praise.
Otherwise, it’s been a smattering of music. I enjoy the oddball nature of Rico Nasty’s “Las Ruinas.” Ethel Caine, Lizzy McAlpine, and Beach Bunny continue to be near the top of my favorite albums of 2022 and joining that list is Beabadoobie’s “Beatopia” which is a record that goes down smooth and leaves me feeling good after every listen. I also want to give a shoutout to Disasterpeace’s excellent work on Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2022) which I haven’t seen but the soundtrack is probably in my Top 10 albums of the year for how beautifully it constructs a coy and imaginative optimism. Finally, I spent a decent amount of time listening to more MF Doom, including “Madvillainy” which, as they say, is one of the most amazing records I’ve listened to just for how it reconstructs Saturday morning cartoon aesthetic with this immersive, cleverly-rhymed story. While I can’t say that I’ve loved any record he’s done as much as that one, it's definitely one of those once in a generation records I can’t help but cherish.
As mentioned, there hasn’t been a lot in the personal production department for this and that reason. I have spent a fair share of late summer babysitting my nieces and being pulled to the park to keep them entertained. As much as I dislike the heat and don’t think I am spontaneous enough to appease children, I do think we have a good time and kick a ball around a field. Having to do other duties has definitely kept the summer interesting even if it’s come at the expense of any sense of personal achievement in any given week. Still, it just means that I have to plan more accordingly to reach the goals I want. It sucks sometimes, but that’s life.
Other than that, there are a few private matters that I cannot really get into at the moment. There has been a death in the family that is currently still being processed both for me mentally and through other legalities. I will share more when the time is appropriate. Similarly, there was a health scare involving my uncle that left me stunned for a few days because of its potential fatality. Again, all I will say is that I’m grateful that he pulled through and that things are looking to be heading down the right path in regard to his health.
There isn’t a lot that I care to expand upon for September. I’m sure there will be a lot of fun festivities that I’ll recap when the time is right. For now, I am looking forward to my penultimate semester at CSULB and trying to end things on the best note. Who knows, maybe I’ll have some extra time to write and produce a great short story. If nothing else, I’m slowly realizing that Fall is my favorite time of year if just because there is something bittersweet about the final stretch of the year, when everything is wrapping up. It’s when the year feels most realized and everyone is comfortable in their sense of personal accomplishment. We know what 2022 is by this point, and it’s time to start writing the narrative on how future generations will remember it.
I know that this seems like an offbeat answer to some who know me because of how much I don’t care for holidays. Given this, I’d better assume that Spring was my favorite season. Still, I’m trying to be a more optimistic person and appreciate the sense of community that I’ve sorely missed. September still feels ambiguous to me for some reason, but October has something special about it that goes beyond the pageantry of “Gay Christmas” (we’re coming up on the one year release of Diana the Musical (2021) on Netflix, get hyped!).
Still, right now I’m trying to appreciate the joys of being alive and noticing the values of this world. As much as things haven’t been great, there are still those who make it a wonderful place for me and hopefully you. Don’t forget about them if you ever feel like the world is going the wrong way. In some cases it is, but so long as you have those willing to sacrifice, things may get a little easier every now and then. Show compassion and appreciate what everything means to you. For me, the time away from Twitter especially has helped improve my outlook on life and learn what I should be consumed by. Only I can really make the answer for myself, and thankfully I have some clue of what it is. As rugged as my 30s have been, there have been some fairly satisfying consolations along the way. Let’s see what happens next.
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