If I spent my last correspondence talking about how August felt anticlimactic, then I’m here to say that September somehow delivered a decent amount of twists. One of the things that feel simultaneously so close and yet so far away is the reality that I began this month by contracting COVID-19. For 12 days, I isolated and did my best to recover. I remain adamant in mentioning that I believe everything went a lot more smoothly because I was triple-vaccinated. Because I took precautions, a lot of the symptoms were minor and only lasted days. While the post I wrote details an immediate reaction to the virus, I want to mention a few weeks out that I am mostly fine, save for some lingering congestion issues.
There is something surreal about contracting it right when the president suggests that the pandemic is over. As someone who considered Joe Biden to be more rationally minded about this topic, it disappoints me to see him setting a potentially hazardous example. It could just be that I am even more self-conscious about face masks now that I know what a lack of them can present, but it does horrify me to see how quickly everyone has moved on and is going commando. Outside of me and Bill Hader at the Emmys, I don’t see too many people recognizing that COVID-19 is still real and we haven’t exactly reached a contraction-death rate that is close to 0%. I guess I could be overreacting as most of these people haven’t wound up in a ditch yet, but it’s still concerning.
As much as I would like to say that this hasn’t impacted my mentality over the month, I think that it’s been a bit severe. Sure, recovery was mostly a passive experience where I watched Succession in the evening and tried to stay hydrated, but because of that one week of distance, I didn’t feel as in tune with my school semester as I should’ve. The inadequacy is difficult to overcome and I worry my grade took a hit because of it. With that said, I do think that I’ve made a small comeback even if developing motivation after downtime like that is difficult. It makes you feel inadequate.
Which isn’t to say that my entire September was spent fretting over COVID-19. As much as it forced me to put more attention to school instead of posting articles on The Memory Tourist because of how much energy I had, there was the familiar consumption of media and socialization that we all love and crave. While I admit it wasn’t all great (reviews for The Whale (2022) did lead to a rather emotional rant on dysmorphia), there was some comfort in returning to Twitter and finding everyone getting excited for Fall. It’s awards season and Halloween is only hours away as I write this. Weezer’s latest entry in the SZNZ series was just released and I have to get on that.
There’s so much to look forward to and I have hope that October will be a better month. Mentally, a lot of life has ebbed and flowed in recent weeks, at times directionless. With some disappointment, I have to admit that with the stress of life going on I relapsed on my self-harm journey. Right now I’m monitoring my mood day to day in order to keep things from getting worse and returning to the way it was in early 2021. A relapse is a real head trip because it feels like it disrespects your recovery process. Even at the time, it felt like a pointless action but one that I felt with all desire needed to be done. I’m still confused about why it happened, but the impulse was there and I’m proud of myself for staying strong for as long as I did. It was 17 months clean. Now it’s time to rebuild. While I remain in a fairly hazy mentality because of it, the week since has been more optimistic than the past three weeks combined. I probably should start moving on to more upbeat and positive things.
Let me start by saying that I am very happy to announce that The Las Vegas Aces are officially WNBA Champs! It was a fantastic month if just for those run of games, especially against The Seattle Storm, that showed the team in top form. Chelsea Grey was on fire and there’s plenty to admire about A’ja Wilson and Kelsey Plum’s performances in crunch time. I saw them back in June and thought they were great then, so I’m happy that their trajectory has been very positive. Is this the start of a new dynasty? I don’t know, but the team is very impressive and what Becky Hammon has done with them in such a short window is noteworthy. I intend to write my thoughts on this season soon, because overall it was a very good season. Also, I just love how rowdy Plum was following the win because nobody was having a better time than her. Her Instagram Live was definitely a sight to behold.
On another note, I am here to report that I have also been following CSULB’s Volleyball season as well. While it’s been mostly women’s the past few weeks, there is something to seeing your school in top form. We are in the Top 5 nationally and while it does make some games boring due to blowouts, seeing two top tier teams just going for it is a thrill. Those sets are such a thrilling example of tedium, where everything is delicately balanced, and a run can happen at any time. While I can’t tell you much about volleyball strategy, I will admit that it’s just fun to watch. Also, there’s a lady who dresses up as a hot dog who comes to our home games, and I’d love to see her in person.
Other random things that happened this month included seeing the film Petite Maman (2021), which is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time. Celine Sciamma always does amazing work and what she does with this minimalist masterpiece is thought-provoking and really connects with me on an emotional level. I think it’s in part because I could relate to the loss of a grandparent, but it’s also the clever way that intergenerational characters relate to each other. I wrote a whole piece on it that reflects something human that I don’t think I’ve seen often enough in film. It could be that I have twin nieces, but even the chemistry between the twin actors felt authentic in a way that makes you realize why art can be special in the right hands. I love that it still feels cryptic, like I need to go back and meditate on the images that I’ve just seen.
I would also like to give a shoutout to Pearl (2022) which I think does an exceptional job of being more than a horror motif with some L. Frank Baum thrown in for midwestern fantasy. I think the film’s exploration of how limiting art as escapism can be is brilliant and shows the gross reality of mental illness interfering with this image of happiness. While Ti West is clearly designing this as a greater artistic statement, I think it’s a film that plays well to a post-pandemic culture because of how it deals with the insecurity and isolation that Mia Goth embodies, playing into perverse tendencies and not feeling connected to anyone. Obviously, this is an unhealthy example of a COVID-19 era, but I do think it symbolizes how scary this whole thing is, especially when there’s no direction forward that makes total sense. Also, Goth gives an amazing monologue by the end that only elevates this film into high art for me.
Speaking of art as therapy, I also am here to mention that Rina Sawayama’s “Hold the Girl” album is really good. While I didn’t love Demi Lovato’s “Holy Fvck,” I do admire the idea that these artists are using pop as an outlet for expression of their lives. I think what helps Sawayama stand out more for me is that she is dealing with themes not unfamiliar to me, which is dealing with complicated childhood emotions and what it means to be queer. It helps that she has such great singles like “This Hell” that fuse in a little Shania Twain with these rocking guitars and infectious choruses. It is one of my favorite queer joy anthems of the year alongside Chappell Roane’s “Naked In Manhattan.” I may be biased, but I also loved “Frankenstein” because of how it uses the Mary Shelley motif very effectively. I don’t know that I love it yet as much as her previous album, but give me some time.
I’ve also been enjoying Beabadoobie, Ethel Caine, and Clairo a lot. In the case of the latter, I have really been vibing with “Immunity” the past week. I’ve been getting into bedroom pop over this past year and I just love the lo-fi minimalism of that album. There’s a clear reflection of craft that shines through and helps to build these powerful emotions. “Sofia” is of course a great song that I am happy to not escape. I’ve also been enjoying “Alewife” lately. I will say that I wasn’t as in love with “Sling,” even if I admire her branching out and playing with 70s pop aesthetic. Though it is funny how it reminds me of Lorde’s “Solar Power” at times (an underrated record) just for the lush melodies and self-reflection. It could just be that Jack Antonoff produced both of them, but it’s also that they’re all just very talented musicians.
I think we should also pull out the confetti and celebrate Netflix’s new show Heartbreak High. There’s a handful of reasons to love it, especially for its diverse representation of identities. However, I am especially thrilled to see YouTuber Chloe Hayden get a role on the show as one of the first prominent actually autistic actresses in a series since Kayla Cromer on Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. There’s a lot to love about it so far and I love the general direction of shows like this and Heartstopper that are presenting more complicated stories than were present when I was their age. Also, there are rumors floating around that someone on the series is asexual, so I look forward to finally getting to that plotline.
I want to also shout out Rings of Power, which is one of the most visually stunning new series I’ve seen all year. While I wouldn’t call myself a J.R.R. Tolkien obsessive, I have come to admire his overall sense of optimism and community within the fantasy genre. I’m also a fan of Reservation Dogs, Atlanta, Bee and Puppycat, and Kevin Can F—k Himself which have been keeping me entertained over the past few weeks. I’ve also recently started the original run of In Treatment, which as someone who has become oddly addicted to the therapist style of storytelling, there’s something thrilling about seeing these stories evolve in a way that feels gradual and not always immediately affirming. Also, seeing a young Mia Wasikowska is always a great time.
As I’ve mentioned, I am mostly trying to just enjoy life and get back to being happy. September could be considered one of the rougher months that I’ve had in 2022, but I don’t think they’re without some positives. While there’s been unbearable weather and a sense of exhaustion, I’ve been slowly getting back to finding what matters to me. I am down but not out. I’m hoping that the Halloween season will revive some of my spirits – maybe Hocus Pocus 2 (2022) will soothe these jangly nerves? – or at least remind me about the good in life. Who knows, I may watch Diana the Musical (2021) to pay tribute to its one year anniversary. If nothing else, I recently discovered Disney Channel’s Zombies series, and they have some hits, you guys. How do you not like the goofy, carefree bangers?
That’s it for now. I hope to find some balance soon enough. Maybe seeing Blonde (2022) won’t get me there, but I can’t help but try. She is one of our beloved icons and someone who has felt more special to me since hearing the conspiracy that she might’ve been asexual. Given that I’ve recently dug into that idea when talking about Bus Stop (1956), I do go in with a certain preciousness that the NC-17 makes me nervous about. Anyway, I’m going to hit ‘Publish’ on this so I can go get that done. Wish me luck! Hope your spooky season goes well and is full of fright.
Comments
Post a Comment