And with that, June is officially over. I’m sure that if I scrounged the archives, I would’ve found a more joyous attitude popping out of the articles I wrote last year. Even with recognizing the various conflicts of the world, there was something more optimistic about 2022. This year, things feel very different. Whereas most companies participated in Rainbow Capitalism almost as a joke, this year it felt like everyone was putting their pride away, finding more covert ways to just do handshakes in a back alley, away from the prying eyes of protestors. When your month starts with The U.S. Navy backtracking a generic “Happy Pride!” post because many see it as promoting predators, it shows where the real national interest is. For a group that’s supposed to defend civil rights for all, it’s weird that they can fight armed forces overseas but not internet trolls.
I suppose that I am getting a little bitter too early in this post. It has been a difficult month largely because I have been trying to get over the disbelief that there wasn’t anything worth celebrating. There always is. Even in the middle of March, there’s reason to be proud of The LGBTQIA+ Community. They do wonderful things and make the world a better place. It’s just that I have been seeing so much negative press that makes me want to recoil into a bunker. Target recalled all of their Pride Merch (they said some, but from my experience, they couldn’t sell a lousy $1 asexual patch because it wouldn’t scan). Polls revealed that Twitter has gotten worse for queer people. Towards the end of last week, Elon Musk – the marketing asshat he is – declared that anyone who used the term “cis” would be temporarily banned as he considered it a slur. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we need comprehensive sex education that includes queer identities. Whatever this shit is, it’s not flying.
But yes, it’s difficult to feel any enthusiasm when Pride Month has been co-opted by hateful protests. People are going to children’s track meets and accusing cisgender girls of being trans. They’ll protest anything that exists on the rainbow color pallet. They’ll tear down flags and make gay people’s life miserable. They call themselves victims, meanwhile school members in California have protested the inclusion of Harvey Milk in a section about activists because of misinformation about his love life. The frenzy is high. Orange County refuses to fly the rainbow flag in front of government buildings. The nearby Glendale featured a riot for the simple fact of another school district recognizing Pride Month as a real thing. I would say this backward behavior hasn’t gotten anywhere close to home yet, but it does feel like it has. Frankly, I’m still worried that Target has discontinued selling Alice Oseman books because I need the next “Heartstopper.”
As researchers will have you believe, most queer people have spent June 2023 in a bit of a somber mood. I’m sure those more loud and proud about it have gotten significant backlash. Still, it’s the idea that America for all of its wonderful freedoms, feels like it’s backsliding into a time where people’s rights are being taken away. I keep wanting to believe that President Biden will do something resembling the right thing, but change happens in increments and sometimes you don’t have time to make compromises with a brushfire. From my personal research, I’m grateful that there haven’t been any LGBTQIA+-related mass shootings. There have been some pride parades obstructed or canceled, but one can be grateful nobody died at an event. I hope, anyway.
There isn’t really much to my Pride Month story that feels significant this time around. The most that can be said is that I cracked open the “Everyone Is Awesome” LEGO set I bought months ago and assembled it while watching the new Black Mirror. As cool as it looks, I will suggest that it’s among the most boring sets I have assembled in my entire life. There’s no creative function or cleverness, it’s all redundant. Having completed it, I can agree that the sturdiness makes up for it, but if you’re like me building LEGO is as much about putting bricks together as it is the experience. You want some weird ingenuity that makes you admire how they keep coming up with new ideas. “Everyone Is Awesome” is an awesome set, but at the same time it doesn’t feel that great of a loss to have it pre-assembled.
With that said, I did take some time to actually support queer art this year. On the day of release, I purchased Elliot Page’s memoir “Pageboy.” Given that I am still in school, I plan to read it when things settle down and I have focus this summer. The back cover actually has an inspirational quote that I think has given me solace on more than one occasion. I’ll just walk by and it’ll randomly be there telling me to find hope inside. You don’t know how many days I’ve needed to hear that.
The one positive about June is that it’s the first month where things have slowed down long enough for me to start writing again. As readers have noticed on The Memory Tourist, this is one of my most prolific months in quite some time. I am trying to get back up to a regular release schedule, though certain plans may upset this. Still, I’m grateful to have this outlet because it has allowed me to not fester on ideas, especially as Pride Month has felt oppressed by hateful comments. I keep trying to find ways to emphasize the good, but it’s not easy. Elsewhere, I’m currently working through the first draft of Novel3, and I’m proud to say that I am nearly a third of the way through it. I haven’t entirely gotten to where I want, but it’s at least 60 pages further than it was in May. If I’m proud of anything this month, it’s that.
To briefly touch on it, The NBA Finals were also this month. Spoiler Alert: The Denver Nuggets won. I’m not mad, but this has been an underwhelming season for me personally. I think it’s in part because of helping my father move and feeling a bit aimless. I wasn’t as focused on the various rounds as I usually am. I tuned in and felt distracted most nights. Also, The Nuggets were not my favorite team to watch. I’m happy for them, but their only accomplishment to me is that I saw most of the team play The Los Angeles Clippers two years ago. They were good then, but I wonder how much animosity I carry for not seeing Nikola Jokic in a preseason match-up. There has to be something implicit there.
It's also the start of The WNBA Season! Lo and behold, it’s been another great run even if, again, I have been distracted during most of the games. I am still devoted to The Las Vegas Aces and wish nothing but the best for them. They’re currently unstoppable and I don’t think there’s a great competitor out there yet. I want to believe that The New York Liberty will be that, though it does feel like they pulled a ton of talented players together and are still figuring out what they need to do. It’s great to see Sabrina Ionescu get a quality team built around her, but I wonder if it will be enough by the end of the season. Even then, I’m mostly holding out hope that everything works out and we’re getting one hell of a match-up against The Los Angeles Sparks at the end of July. I’ll be there in high anticipation. I saw Ionescu play last year and I’ll just say that she is much better in person. I get the cult around her. She is very talented and having someone like Breanna Stewart by her side is going to make the ride all the more classic.
To switch things up, there was also The Tony Awards. For the first time in a few years, I actually listened to all of the soundtracks and had a mostly good time. I’m still riding high for Kimberly Akimbo and Parade, but I would like to give a shoutout to the Camelot revival, which has been one of the feel-good records of the year for me. I in general have a soft spot for Lerner & Loewe’s style, and this is one of the breeziest examples of that. I love the emotion and humor packed into every song and I’m currently in love with how Phillipa Soo sings. She does amazing work and while I can accept that this show may be dated and silly, it has so much charm. Speaking of Hamilton alum, Lin-Manuel Miranda randomly made a musical with Kander & Ebb called New York New York, and I’m proud to say that the soundtrack is excellent. It’s the type of jazz musical that I actually enjoy because it feels genuine and comes from deep-seated emotions. It’s my least favorite of the shows mentioned, but the production on the album is my favorite. It’s so lively and immersive. Miranda adds some nice Afro-Cuban to the mix and creates his most interesting orchestration since In the Heights. I have heard mostly bad things about the show, but I’m hoping it’s a pleasant surprise.
Similarly, I would like to acknowledge that The Tony Awards brought with it a sense of history to the ceremony. In both male acting categories, a non-binary actor won. After the initial confusion, I realized how happy this moment made me. I put aside any reason I would mentally reject it and accept that, guess what, The Tony Awards approved it. If they didn’t, these winners wouldn’t be here. It was amazing to think that queerness, even in its most obvious medium, could be seen on TV as something worthy of awards. Not since M.J. Rodriguez in Pose has it felt like trans representation has been given a fair shake. I wrote in 2015 on the cusp of The Danish Girl (2015) coming out about how I wondered if a trans actor would ever be nominated. This isn’t to say they haven’t been included elsewhere, but I do remember that time Anohni was singled out as the one Best Original Song nominee that wouldn’t be allowed to perform on the Oscar broadcast. Even with Daniela Vega from A Fantastic Woman (2018) sharing the stage during that year’s Best International Film win, it does feel like these non-binary wins are flukes. I would love to see them pop up in other ways, that is when the writers’ strike ends, but for now, I had to stop and put aside pettiness. I had to put aside the internalized transphobia that made me cautious about learning this information more because it meant bigoted people in my life could talk to me about it. I don’t want those conversations. You’re an idiot for raining on people’s parades. Just accept it and move on.
Which makes it interesting then that this stumbled into one of two movies I ended up seeing this month. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) is a phenomenal movie. Everything about it is great. Hands down, one of the best, most innovative animated films of the year. With that said, I found myself less eager to see it because of its razzle-dazzle and more because of Gwen Stacy. As media came out, there was the suggestion that she was trans, or at least coded. In a time where the world felt cruel, I wanted to believe that Spider-Gwen was this force for justice. If I could see a transwoman overcoming societal barriers to make the world a better place, it would be the event of the year for me. I’ve longed to have Spider-Gwen merch just because I think she’s cool. I’m happy to report that she gives the new film a conscience and makes for an interesting conversation about identity and what secrets we choose to protect. While I was dissuaded by bigots claiming “You guys, it’s just a comic” or “It would’ve been more effective if she was an ally,” there was something about being able to push that away and just see her scenes doused in the trans flag colors and recognize the beauty of her soul in that moment. The transcendence overtook me. It’s more coded than fact, but it still comforted me. In a time where anti-trans legislation is seeking to oppress The LGBTQIA+ Community, there’s this one piece of optimism to help us through.
Well, two actually. I’m a little late to this, but thanks to a Fionapollo and StephGuzDoodles video about asexual characters, I learned that there’s another asexual comic book hero. Deadpool’s friend Gwenpool has officially come out. Again, bigots complain that this is irrelevant because nobody reads her comics, but for me, it’s still a reason to consider. The idea of the team behind it being largely aro and ace is very compelling. I want to know more. Hopefully, it won’t be like Yelena in Black Widow (2021) and be ignored, but then again this is more something I’m putting on my To Do list.
I would also like to quickly give a shoutout to Boots Riley’s new work I’m a Virgo. As a big fan of his debut feature Sorry to Bother You (2018), I was eager to see where his career would take him. It’s definitely a head trip in terms of visual perspective as well as a story that challenges the very idea of capitalist rhetoric. There’s some irony in it being on Amazon, but it’s also so vulgar in how well it criticizes workforces and challenges the idea of narrative in a time when it’s needed most. I haven’t finished it yet, but it’s still one of those sublime mixes of comedy and surrealism that makes me believe Riley is only going to get more provocative.
As I have been doing a lot in the past few entries, I want to touch on the one album that has saved my month. Christine and the Queens’ “Paranoia, True Love, Angels” is a work of art that I didn’t know I needed. It’s a spiritual record that latched onto my soul and comforted me on bad days. It allowed me to recognize that the struggles I was facing mentally were valid and that it was okay to cry. It was okay to be vulnerable and allow yourself access to question your mind. Some have accused it of being too atmospheric, but that feature has made the entire 97-minute running time special to me. Even if I’m moving in and out of consciousness while doing so, I am left with new thoughts each time I return to the record. I discover so much about myself. It’s meditative without being pretentious. It captures the pain and joy all in a single breath. The full review of this album may have not made it out in time for June due to scheduling conflicts, but I promise it is on its way. It’s a special record that makes me feel hopeful and connected to this world.
If there’s any grand takeaway from what June has taught me this year, it’s that there is no reason to give up hope. While most of my year has felt rooted in some type of despair, there have been moments where I felt genuinely excited. It’s there in holding “Pageboy” or watching Gwen Stacy confront her father. It’s in seeing non-binary people begin to change the conversation regardless of how confused the main discourse perceives it. There’s so much that was rooted in pride that had nothing to do with “perversion” or altering the youth. Being queer is ultimately a different way of seeing the world, and it’s beautiful. The fact that some choose to attack with false accusations is hurtful and I’m not a fan of it. I have no idea how to deal with you.
But July is going to be an interesting time. For starters, I will officially be turning 34 in a matter of days. It’s crazy to think that another year has passed and I’m closer to my Mid-30s. In all sincerity… where does the time go? I’m thinking of finally doing a Clerks (1994) trilogy marathon that weekend just to commemorate the occasion. Other than that, maybe put on Somebody Somewhere, which has been my comfort watch. Joel and Brad have also been one of the most adorable couples on TV and I only want the best for them. There are small ways that I’ve felt comfort in the world. I recognize that media has a habit of focusing on the negative because, again, fire produces something immediate. We’re drawn to that aspect of life, and I’ve tried to avoid giving in to sensationalism. I’m not the best, but I do think it grounds me.
On a fun final note, it is amusing that Indiana Jones is a franchise that only releases new films when it can compete against Sex and the City. I haven’t watched And Just Like That, but it’s amusing that The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) opened on the same day as Sex and the City: The Movie (2008) and I just so happened to be in the neighborhood. Then again, I saw Sex and the City 2 (2010) at midnight on opening night and have no regrets. With that said, I’m happy to see Hari Nef getting work and I look forward to whatever Barbie (2023) ends up being. To some extent, seeing Nef’s face on the side of a Toys R Us is fun because I want to believe transphobes will never catch on. I hope they never do. Just keep worrying about The Idol, which I think is an adequate show with clear writer’s room issues. Still shocked that Sunday is the finale when it feels very mid-season to me.
Anyway, I’m hoping to enjoy July and not be as bogged down with worries as I have been. I’m officially done with university and will hopefully be receiving my diploma in the mail before the end of the year. Other than that, I will be participating in a family trip very soon and may not be available for comment until I come back. I’m going to try and go even more “off the grid” than I have because I have enjoyed not having to deal with the world these past few months. Outside of the occasional reference on QueerNewsDaily on Instagram, I don’t want to add fuel to anyone’s fire. I’ll consume the news when I’m ready.
For everyone else, please stay safe out there. I hope your Pride Month was a great one and that it brought you some moments of joy. I know that while I groaned a bit too much here, I still was able to appreciate life this month. I still managed to do something that made me happy. It may not change the bigger picture, but sometimes pride is simply taking time for yourself and recognizing that it’s okay to like cheesy crap. Embrace yourself once in a while. In scary times, that’s all we can do sometimes.
Comments
Post a Comment