One of the strange things about writing this column is how often the dates don’t line up. Since I enjoy posting these on the last Friday of the month, it often means that I’m left to not cover the straggling days. It’s not necessarily a traumatic experience, but it’s still strange to look at the calendar and see today is May 31st, the official last day of the month. There’s no room for error and instead I’m left getting to start with a fresh slate and no worry that I missed something. Yes, tomorrow June will be busting out all over. For now, the lusty month of May is in need of eulogizing, remembering everything that happened in the past few weeks.
And boy if there ever was a month that felt jam-packed with activity, it was this one. Whereas some months I feel like I struggle to come up with personal anecdotes, this one has an embarrassment of riches. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that we are entering summertime when students are out of school and corporations are marketing the hell out of everything to kids. The songs of the summer are starting to emerge and whatever blockbusters studios think are going to be the hot topic for the next three months are starting to appear.
Sure, I don’t think that Furiosa (2024) landed quite how they wanted, but it’s always nice to see Mad Max create an unwieldy art film that expands its madness into the minutiae. I will still call Fury Road (2015) the better film – and The Road Warrior (1981) the best in the series – but I love George Miller’s efforts to not settle. He’s antsy to fill every corner of this universe with something meaningful. I do think that Furiosa suffers a bit from prequel-itis and slows it down, but at least Chris Hemsworth is out there reminding you that he’s capable of using his machismo for good with one of the most complete performances I’ve seen this year so far. I love watching this guy just exist as this maniacal dickhead, and it really helps the 2.5 hours pass easier. I’m curious to know how his Marvel super-buddy Chris Pine is doing over in Poolman (2024), but that’s a conversation for another day.
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| Stud muffin |
But yeah, the summer is quickly approaching and it’s difficult to not just want to jump ahead. There’s still a need to reflect on what’s come before and determine what made May the first truly significant month of the year for me.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. A race doesn’t begin at the finish line. Every day since January 1st has amounted to something. However, when I look back I’m able to not just highlight the media I consumed and use that as a crutch. Instead, I am able to look at my own day to day and be proud of what I’ve accomplished.
Probably the most noteworthy is going to the Los Angeles County Fair. While I’ve much preferred the Orange County equivalent in the past, this is my second time attending L.A.’s annual gathering. The previous time involved going because my mother submitted a quilt that won a ribbon. We couldn’t find our car so we ended up spending 40 minutes walking around aimlessly. By comparison, we got lucky as we went early in the day and were able to park in the front row.
I think as someone from Long Beach and has a city life mentality to begin with, Fairs have this strange disconnect. When I think of Los Angeles, I think of industry. Skyscrapers on the horizon. Theater venues and overpriced tributes to Hollywood. As Lana Del Rey would put it, “an L.A. crass way about me.” For as much as I get the appeal of rural life, I can’t imagine living there simply because the lack of stimulation would become evident at some point.
So bringing Fairs to a city like Los Angeles is weird because it poorly contrasts with what’s actually there. It feels like a modernized and family-friendly version of a freak show on some level. I shouldn’t say anything “ugly” happened, but amid horticulture and farm animals, you can’t help but have the feeling of novelty. The endless rows of haystacks-for-seats are fun even if you’re more used to metal benches. Also, it’s wild to walk through an agriculture exhibit and see Escape-Ism just performing lo-fi rock for an unsuspecting public of 16. It wasn’t Twin Peaks-y, but it had a twinge of disorientation that I liked.
To start wrapping things up, I did have a great time. For as much as it embodied the world that I don’t live in, I did enjoy getting to see the many displays and experience culture a little different from my own. Somebody did a table setting to the theme of Midsommar that amused me to no end. Somebody else did a bead stitching of Magritte’s “The Lovers” that had Andy Warhol levels of “Is this your art?” More than anything, that is what I loved about Fair culture. It was a chance to realize that people in this community are gifted and want to express themselves. There weren’t any big-budgeted spectacles (unless you count the rides), so it allowed you to just get lost in the moment. I saw the Budweiser Clydesdales and the Dalmatians that protect them. It was a chance to see the carnies who travel place to place to bring people joy. It was an endearing day, even if I’m not entirely sure that Los Angeles County Fair is anything but an oxymoron.
This was also a sports-heavy month for me. For reasons too complicated to get into, CSULB finished second in NCAA men’s volleyball this year before taking on UCLA in The Finals. It was a thrilling match-up and for as much as I make fun of them, UCLA does have a great team. I’m also thankful to have been at apparently the only game where Long Beach beat them. Elsewhere, I am sad (but understanding) about men’s basketball’s entire line-up deciding to enter The Portal and transfer. As heartbreaking as it is, I think that the poor treatment around coach Dan Monson towards the end did irreparable damage that will probably take years for our school to improve from. I don’t have any negative opinions of the new class and will be there to see them play, but I was hoping we’d get the core group one last year. I’m going to miss them and am grateful for the few years together. I hope them transferring to schools like Xavier and Oklahoma will result in having better NBA draft odds long-term and this was always for the best.
Then, I would be remiss if I didn’t at least mention my sister’s school Fullerton. Even if they didn’t get far in women’s softball’s post-season, I want to give them praise for playing eight games in two weeks and holding their own. While they lost the two games that mattered, everything in-between is what you show up for. They may have gone late into the evening and pushed everyone’s stamina, but it’s what you watch the sport for. I think another reason that I bring this up is because I was at the deciding double-header between Fullerton and Long Beach, so it was seven hours at a ballpark trying not to let the bench get too uncomfortable. I will say watching Fullerton absolutely murder you in the deciding game in the third inning was not fun, but keeping hope alive is always key. We’ve moved onto men’s baseball and while neither of our schools is involved, I am wishing the best for Irvine and Santa Barbara. Go Eaters! Go Gauchos!
To start moving forward, it feels important to touch on basketball. It’s a big season for any league that has NBA in their acronym. To quickly get the men’s out of the way… it’s been a frustrating year. I had The Denver Nuggets going against The Boston Celtics in The Finals. Only the former still exists and every team The Celtics has played since the second round wasn’t on my prediction board. Meanwhile, I am conflicted about The Dallas Mavericks basically being the once and future kings. On the one hand, I’m not terribly mad about them getting there. The Los Angeles Clippers folded at the worst possible time and makes their transition to Intuit Dome very awkward. However… how is Luka Doncic still operating on this level? Didn’t he get injured at some point?
To be completely honest, Doncic is one of my favorite players and arguably the one I enjoyed most seeing live back in 2021 when he visited The Clippers. He really puts up a fight and I think has a great personality. There were endless nights this past season where I’d be sitting around and their Facebook page would be going on about something. Surely enough I’d tune in and he was posting ridiculous numbers. He is indomitable and I think speaks well to this ascension. I’m happy for him even if some nights feel more like minor miracles. If he pulls this off, I’ll also have the strange honor of seeing the last two Finals MVPs in person – and yes, I do think Nikola Jokic is the real deal. So is Doncic. I’m grateful to have stories about being in the same room as them.
Speaking of the same room, I have also attended my first WNBA game of the season. To back up a little bit, this year’s draft class has been marketed as the saving grace of the league. It’s largely a byproduct of Caitlin Clark, who is doing commendable work this early in her professional career. However, I think my disinterest in The Indiana Fever is really holding me back in enjoying those games, especially when I have players I’m more invested in. I will say that she’s caused me to watch more Fever games, but I think the media needs to cool it with the golden child hyperbole and spread the wealth a little bit.
Coming in second in the draft is Cameron Brink, who I have quickly taken a liking to. Because of how I watch college basketball, I didn’t actually pay attention to Stanford during her time. I technically saw her a lot over the past year, but it was me just wondering who the tall blonde in the New Balance commercial next to Kawhi Leonard was. This early season is the most that I’ve seen of her, and I do like her energy. It’s also true that I like The Los Angeles Sparks in general and am curious to see what Dearica Hamby’s leadership role will achieve.
I will say that having the first two games play at CSULB’s Pyramid adds to my affection for rookies Brink and Rickea Jackson. Even the fact that their game against The Atlanta Dream being closeknit for almost the entire run spoke to their potential. However, I think there was some anticipation about seeing them in person because of having two prior years to judge against. Whatever change would happen would be apparent to me.
So, along with Sparky now being able to do backflips, I got to see what they’re calling “The New Classic.” In the gift shop were t-shirts sporting a cartoon Brink that I hope to wear to the next game. When they did the starting line-up, it was clear how many people were there for Brink. The disparity between the seasoned vets and her name were obvious. It’s clear that a lot of people want to believe that Brink will bring something special to the team. As someone who has watched a lot of the games and seen the potential, I remain optimistic even if they were outpaced by The Dallas Wings. As many have suggested, Brink needs to work on not fouling as much because she is unstoppable when she is able to tap into the game. She is a crazy blocker and ended up being The Sparks’ lead scorer that night. There’s so much to like about her immediately that I hope The Sparks make something work. It’s too early into the season to really say yay or nay on what that is, but given that they played The Las Vegas Aces and finished with a single-digits loss is an honor unto itself.
As of now, I think the teams to watch out for are the obvious ones. I haven’t seen a lot of games from everybody, but I have seen the promise of returning favorites The Aces, The New York Liberty, and The Connecticut Sun. The Sun are probably the most fun right now just because they appear out for blood and I do think they pose the best threat. Of the smaller teams, I remain big on The Dream and Rhyne Howard.
If you want to hear more of my thoughts, just know that I will be going to more games in June and will hopefully have more of a say on what has improved or changed since this second week game. I think everyone is doing impressive work given that preseason was basically two weeks since draft night. Everyone is still figuring things out and they don’t even have that G-League training month to get the rookies into better shape.
Before giving up the ghost on competition, I want to say that yesterday was the finals for this year’s Scripps’ National Spelling Bee. While I haven’t seen it as of this writing, I will have watched it by the time this is published and I’m sure that I had a great time. As an English major, I do love exploring language and how different cultures spell words. My contribution to Spelling Bee culture is that I once was in an elementary bee where I got pretty far in the proceedings before getting out on “squirrel.” It may not be as complicated as the words I saw last night, but it definitely has a way of demolishing a young kid. Also, if you want some great pump-up music, the soundtrack for “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” is excellent.
So to move onto other things… I want to briefly touch on Lady Gaga’s “Chromatica” concert film. Over the past year, I have gotten more into watching live theater recordings. As I mentioned two months ago, I got to see Lana Del Rey headline Coachella twice and basically do the same set. I really enjoyed Taylor Swift’s outing even if it felt too manufactured to be consumed like a timeshare.
However, Lady Gaga’s felt interesting because I knew it would be eccentric. I tried so desperately to like “Chromatica” but never found myself motivated to revisit it. There were obvious hits on it (including the only Ariana Grande song I actually like?), but it felt like I wasn’t part of that audience. That isn’t to say that I didn’t go out of my way to find Chromatica Oreos and try to enjoy this era. With all that said, I do think it’s weird that I never got around to “Dawn of Chromatica” given that it has A.G. Cook and Dorian Electra in the mix.
But the concert film was magnificent. Maybe it’s because I hadn’t seen her give a truly captivating concert in many years, it just came to life with such bold, uncompromising personality. Even for the parts that felt over-produced, there was a sense that Lady Gaga was in the moment. She wasn’t self-consciously holding everything together. She’d yell in the middle of a song. She would break the rhythm and challenge you to perceive the music in a new light. Of the handful of concert films I’ve seen recently, it was the most alive I’ve seen a stadium show be.
Not only was it raucous, but it managed to balance fast and slow very well. I think what caught me the most off-guard was how much intimacy those moments had. Following the freak flag segments, it was disorienting at first to see her take to a piano and turn everything into a sci-fi cabaret. Her costuming is everything you’d expect, but as someone not familiar with her long-form performances, it’s interesting to see her basically pour out her soul. It makes me laugh to compare it to Lana Del Rey who basically walked on stage and was like “Maybe I’ll get around to singing ‘West Coast’ on the second verse, or maybe I won’t.” Each type of performance has its appeal, but Lady Gaga has earned her spot more clearly.
But I think a major reason that this segment clung to me was what it said about her as a performer. For the entire segment, she wasn’t afraid to celebrate her LGBTQIA+ fans. There was a sense of unity that I don’t think I’ve seen many places these days. Even if I do have the outlets for connectivity (such as Jane Schoenbrun interviews), it’s surreal to hear someone speak so candidly about mental health and feeling need for connection. Given that June is Pride Month, I am reminded of how revelatory it was to see “Dawn of Chromatica” being sold at a Target before the future of their gay celebration was brought to the chopping block.
Because I think that’s one of my issues with life right now. On top of an election that feels even less optional than ever before, I have found weariness around whatever June is going to look like. The idea of expecting rainbow flags and parades is growing more unlikely. Even if it’s crass and fake, Target’s Pride Month was a small piece of comfort when I came out in 2021. It’s where I bought my progress flag that still hangs in my room. While I live in a more tolerant and open-minded corner of this planet than most, it’s still the feeling that the bigots are making themselves more known. I’m quickly learning that the only thing that speaks in this country is violence. Send a bomb threat to Target in June and they’ll remove merch. Send police to a peaceful protest at UCLA or U.C. Irvine and instead of listening, they’ll bully them. Violence is speaking loudest right now, and I hate how it makes me nervous for what could happen in some small good-intentioned community elsewhere. The Club Q Shooting wasn’t that long ago. Even The Pulse Night Club Shooting is less than a decade old. Someone murdered an ally in Southern California last year solely because they were welcoming. We are not in good times, and I don’t know that we got the right leaders to express effective compassion.
So when I hear Lady Gaga praise her gay fans, there is something that feels deeper than it would’ve a few years ago. I think on some level you start with the skepticism of who truly means what they say. Rainbow capitalism makes you jaded to the idea that anyone is sincere. And yet, in a time where “Don’t say gay” has spread like the Coronavirus, it makes me realize that those who stick their neck out deserve some benefit of the doubt. I know that Lady Gaga is one of the least deserving of skepticism, but it’s still dumb of me to not grow up hearing “Born This Way” and not expect this to happen. Why am I so overtaken with emotion over such simple rhetoric these days?
Which is all to say that sometimes I think the fear is more powerful than anything that has happened. Out here in Long Beach, the annual Pride Parade went on both ceremoniously and unceremoniously. No reports of disaster have emerged in the press. Even if I still find myself fixated on online comments of people being absolute bigots, I do try to feel like the world is not as terrible as I’ve come to believe. I do try to find good people. For what it’s worth, that includes Vera Drew allowing The People’s Joker (2024) to play out here twice.
But yes. Things are sometimes bleak. With that said, you do get a curveball every now and then. A good example is my opinion that Dua Lipa’s new album is better than Billie Eilish’s. I think it’s just that I am more in the mood right now for “Radical Optimism.” As much as you can argue it’s more of the same, it is a quick jolt of energy that is undeniable. With that said, I do enjoy that Eilish has released the queer song of the summer “Lunch,” which Spotify will have you believe I listened to more than I actually have because it plays after everything from the aforementioned Dua Lipa to The Outsiders OBCR. I don’t get it, but I do love trying to predict what it won’t play after. Let’s see how it takes to Vince Staples.
Before jumping around, I also want to say that Underscores has released a new song called “My Guy (Corporate Shuffle)” and it’s one of my favorite songs of the year. Given how much I loved “Wallsocket,” it makes sense that this resonates so much with me. I think the handling of world building details allows conventional pop melodies reminiscent of early 2010s Britney Spears to appear brilliant and rich. Then again, I seem to love whenever April steps up to the microphone and do great work free of larger production restraints. Very excited to see where this goes, if it in fact leads to anything.
Since I’m running long, I will jump to a different topic that I have been grappling with a lot lately. As most on Twitter have discussed, Jenny Nicholson recently came out with a four hour video detailing her time at a Star Wars Hotel. I don’t know much beyond that, but it has withstood conversation for at least a week now. In that sense, it’s a complete success and I have to commend people who know how to break that impermanence. I follow a lot of creators that I watch regularly, but I couldn’t even tell you what they posted five weeks ago because of how ephemeral their content is outside of immediate enjoyment.
To be clear, I am not familiar with Nicholson’s work. While I watched a video on her discussing The Land Before Time series and found it amusing, I had to wonder what made her other videos worth watching. I think there was something about the cynicism in their titles and the idea that they felt very novelty. In general I’ve tried to steer clear of rage-bait content because I don’t think that’s a useful form of criticism. I’m not perfect as I have ended up watching Alex Meyers’ series on Riverdale – but that’s also in part because I love the series too much to be offended by how ridiculous it is. If anything, it gives me a front row seat to wondering how anyone could get that mad about anything.
Again, I have nothing against Nicholson. I think I got more hung up on the “four hour video” portion. It is at that moment that I realized I tend to have an elitist complex around what content I generally dub “great.” For as much as I’m familiar with the algorithm and profit margins favoring long videos for reasons I don’t fully understand, I think it speaks to a certain cynicism in me. Back in the 19th century when authors were paid by the word, they’d often use filler language to make a living. It’s commendable when done right, but it’s still a reflection of how capitalism is impacting purity. To me, YouTube feels like the digital equivalent sometimes where I put up red flags if I see someone make content over an hour. More often than not, I’m convinced that they’re either manipulating things or are really that bad at editing material to its core essence. As someone who has seen a handful of Patrick Willems videos that feel painfully padded, it’s enough to make me question things.
I think I’ve been mostly fixated on this in recent years because of Quinton Reviews. Had you asked me four years ago if I liked his work, I’d say yes. He wasn’t exceptional, but knew how to keep you engaged. Then he began doing seven hour videos on Nickelodeon shows that I didn’t care for and I just lost it. Something about it made me existential about what qualified as entertainment. I even ended up watching his video on the character Fred because I wanted to understand what the larger appeal was. It was thorough, but why was it presented like this? I refuse to watch anything else he does… including that random April Fools video he did that was 36 hours long.
Maybe I’m also a bit burned because I mistook Jenny Nicholson for Sarah Z. She had done a video on Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cinderella which is something I’m objectively interested in, but found myself bored with how meandering and slow it was. To me, there was a need to tighten things up. It wasn’t even that long, but it spoke to my belief that those who use YouTube as their soul use of income probably weren’t improving their presentation and instead giving into inside jokes that belabored the larger appeal of their work.
I recognize that this is in its own way a tangent in a column that is nothing but tangents. However, I promise that I am coming around to something. As I’ve discussed this publicly on Twitter, I have found people coming to Nicholson’s defense and saying that it was well-produced. These are people whose opinions I trust and a small reason that I have since found myself caught up in the FOMO nature of this. I don’t really care about Star Wars, and yet the idea of needing to be in the conversation feels overbearing. Basically, it’s Tiger King all over again.
It's here that I doubted myself and pointed to the videos that I did watch and enjoy. For as much as I detested Quinton Reviews and Patrick Willems, I could point to others who did work I consumed and loved that was closer to feature length. The authors I try to set aside time for included people like Contrapoints, Jesse Gender, and Aranock. They’re the ones who I’ve come to trust because I see the effort they put into their work. I’ll even go so far as to argue that Hbomberguy’s video on James Somerton is a prime modern example of long videos that I still actively think about. Even then, creators I usually admired like Lindsay Ellis would release a video on something like Omegaverse and be so boring that I question why I should even care.
I guess long story short, it’s all about what creator you want to invest in. When your attention has now become commodified, the question is who is worth listening to for four hours. I am confident that I am not and it’s unlikely that many people are reading this enough to care. I’m sure many have given up long ago. Still, when you realize that I’m getting worked up over whether to watch a four hour video, it’s doing something effectively. It’s making me think what it could possibly be saying. Part of me is convinced that I’ll begin watching it soon. Maybe nobody will know what I think of it. You’ll just have to wait and maybe not find out.
Sorry for that long tangent in a pantheon of long tangents. May has been a crazy, jam-packed month in a lot of ways. As I look out the window and see the sun shining, I’m ready to embrace summer and whatever will lay ahead. It’s time to give into festivities and enjoy whatever liveliness will be on display. I’m hoping June will be a great month full of memories even better than the ones I’ve made now. If nothing else, I have tickets to A Strange Loop (I got two for $40!) and am eagerly counting down the days. Similarly, new Charli XCX, The Bear, and NBA Finals is quickly approaching.
It's crazy to think that 2024 is officially halfway through. What are we going to do to make the final stretch meaningful? I’ll get back to you on that. For now, I’m going to plan things out and see what works. As usual, please take care of yourselves and stay safe. Enjoy your Pride Month and don’t lose hope. There is a community that loves you out there. All you have to do is look. It’s helped me and I hope it helps you. Take care.
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