To be completely honest, August 2024 was not my favorite month. While I have done a lot to look optimistically on the future, this may be first time in awhile where I actively felt the opposite. I recognize that going into July that I was a bit remorseful given how I felt about turning 35, but I did my best to overcome any personal doubt and appreciate the world around me. I took in the thrills of summer and made the most of any opportunity handed to me. I am grateful for every positive memory this summer. The good far outweighs the bad.
However, I feel like August was a different beast. On some level, it is always a questionable month. By this point in summer, everyone is burned out and the weather is miserable. In any other year, there’s a good chance that I’d be bored out of my mind and looking for any excuse to start some havoc.
Instead, August was a month that crumbled under its own weight. It’s not a month necessarily devoid of larger context. I had a miserable Independence Day and a variety of health conditions that formed in the wake of stress and anxiety. By the time that I got better, I had a few calming moments before I was dropped back into things. Sadly, it’s difficult to avoid starting with them because the reality it is that I’ve had a dark cloud over my head this entire time. For all the good of seeing A Strange Loop or Ben Platt, there’s the reality that inside I was feeling a bit morose.
August didn’t start on the best of notes. As I wrote in a prior entry, my cat Meathead passed away after battling cancer. The most I’ll say at this point is that it was an uncomfortable process and I’m grateful that the suffering is over. Even then, grieving a pet is a difficult and lengthy process. No matter how much I laugh and have good days, there are those incidents that trigger a memory and remind you of what’s missing. Given that I’ve always found the company of cats comforting, lacking that presence right now is especially hard and keeps me from feeling truly at peace. I have to keep reassuring myself that it hasn’t been a month yet and that it’s okay to cry. Even then, I’m left wanting something more tangible.
To my family’s credit, they heard of my cries and did their best to console me. I’ve had some wonderful people come out and offer support in this time. My sister even bought me a Muffin doll. To those who don’t know, Muffin is a character from Bluey known for being a bit erratic. Given that it’s a show that I’ve bonded with my nieces over, it makes sense to have this small symbol of hope. Also, since I won’t really have a place to mention it elsewhere, I highly recommend checking out the podcast Back to Bluey that does a great job recapping episodes.
I have tried to remain optimistic, but I think so much is working against me at the moment. Just when I thought that I could get things back on track, I came down with my third official case of Coronavirus. Whether or not it’s more severe, I do feel the symptoms more. The fatigue is the only surviving bugger, but I’m doing what I can to overcome it. Sadly, I think there’s something about being sick (on top of the heat) that makes me revel in misery more. To quote the most obvious Lana Del Rey song: I got that summertime sadness. For as much as I’m working everyday to not be stuck in this rut, I do very much feel my limitations right now.
My hope is that September treats me better. As I continue to shake off this existential dread that had hung over me for most of the month, I’m hoping that The Fall allows me to embrace a more peaceful and productive mentality. As much as I have failed to get into the spirit of the holidays (spooky, merry, or other) in the past few years, I do try to appreciate the period and take it as a chance to step outside myself and recognize what makes others happy. Hell, I’m anticipating Mountain Dew’s latest Voo-Dew series. A lot has changed about me, but novelty sodas is in my blood.
But before I get into what’s ahead, it only feels appropriate to focus on what has happened over the past few weeks. It hasn’t been all doom and gloom. For as much as that’s hung in the background, I have done a lot that has made me happy. I’ll start with something that’s a bit insignificant, but was such a delightful way to pass the afternoon.
For whatever reason, I have been watching a lot of horror movies theatrically this year. Following Maxxxine (2024) and Kinds of Kindness (2024) in July, my rare outing this month included a stop over at Cuckoo (2024). Maybe it’s because I have been a big Hunter Schafer fan for years now, but I’ve had this on my radar for a long time. I’ve seen her bandaged head in promo pictures going back what feels like at least two years. Given that this feels like something with shelved mentality, I have to believe it got tossed around until this loopy release date.
On the bright side, it’s the better of Schafer’s 2024 works. That isn’t a high mark when you think about it, but it’s still an entertaining piece of nonsense. The first half starts as a clever haunted hotel story before devolving into a strange cult-like story that I won’t spoil simply because surprise is what Cuckoo does well. It’s unhinged and embraces the absurdity in such a way that while it will never make for high art, it would make for a great if disposable afternoon watch. Also, I don’t know how Dan Stevens picks his projects, but I love how hammy he’s been as of late. I’m also a fan of Abigail (2024) and, against better judgment, Godzilla x Kong (2024). He’s got a knack for this film thing. I don’t know if Schafer has fully proven herself yet, but my bias will keep me coming back a little longer.
Another outing featured something that ended up being really special for me. Closing out a four game plan of seeing The Los Angeles Sparks play this season, we got the family together to see them challenge The New York Liberty. I wish that things were a bit more enthusiastic, but that was the game where The Sparks lost by 37 points. Yes, it was their biggest loss of the season with their second being The Minnesota Lynx game I was at a few months ago. The major difference was that Cameron Brink was still active and nobody had any medals yet. Given that this was the first Post-Olympics game of the season, it also meant that it was the well-rested vs. the well-tested, and you can guess how that formula goes.
But before I jump from this section, I wanted to touch on something that was very special for me. As some will have noticed, I have been mentioning St. Vincent’s stop at The Greek Theater in a few articles. However, I hadn’t considered when it actually was so I assumed it was months away. The timing ended up dovetailing with The Sparks game, meaning that she got to stop off and perform The National Anthem. Unfortunately, I was seated directly behind her so I only got to see her back the entire time, but what a rendition. I love how muted and unfussy it was. I am willing to call it my favorite rendition if just because it’s easy to say it’s “The St. Vincent version.”
Another reason that this is a big deal is that St. Vincent has been one of my favorite artists over the past year. With “All Born Screaming” looming on the horizon, I listened to her entire catalog to get prepared. What I ended up discovering was how much I love her unique approach to craft. As it stands, “Actor” is an album that changed my life when I was in my early 20s and lingers as a personal favorite. She’s only become more interesting as time has gone on and I’m happy to say that while I was initially tepid to “All Born Screaming,” I find myself liking it a little more with each listen. It’s bold, defiant, and everything that music needs right now.
My closing opinions on the St. Vincent cameo is that there was an additional video of her talking with Brink behind the scenes. At some point she gave Brink her guitar and she got to take some goofy pictures with it. Ever since I’ve noticed that they’ve liked each other’s videos. Of every reason to admire Brink as a person, being a former volleyball player AND St. Vincent fan on top of being a great addition to The Sparks is quite the accolades.
Also, it was interesting to note that Trae Young and Robin Thicke were both also at the event. What’s interesting is that I’m starting to believe that in the grand battle of favorite WNBA teams, Los Angeles is more invested in Las Vegas Aces than The Liberty just by attendance and general enthusiasm. Even then, I think Sabrina Ionescu has more than proven herself to me in the four times I’ve seen her. She’s forming a mythic stature in the league and it was deafening when the announcer mentioned her as a gold medalist. Finally, I want to mention that while The Sparks seem destined to finish dead last in the standings, they have great potential in a full Brink and Rickea Jackson season in the future and I have faith that Dearica Hamby will find her groove. Also, the staff have been nothing but great to my family and I have grown to appreciate the community that attends these games.
To start moving onto events that didn’t involve me as directly, I want to begin with an odd detail. July and August has been a period of assessing how I feel about the chant “USA!” For reasons that I hope are obvious, I have grown increasingly uncomfortable with blind patriotism to this country. I love it, but the pageantry feels grotesque and I feel like there is a need for us to be humbled for a few years before we go spouting “best nation” rhetoric again. There’s a lot that’s great, but we’re such a divided nation that I struggle to hear someone chant “USA!” without either malice or sarcasm. Pride is there, but it’s not of the genuine kind that I imagine many carry for this nation in quieter ways. We have so much to work on and I don’t think the leaders wanting to dismantle freedoms for those who look different deserve to have that slogan. I won’t stop you, but just know that I think actions speak louder than words.
Which is why I find myself conflicted at the presence of The Olympics. On the one hand, I absolutely enjoyed Paris as a host country. The opening ceremony ranks as probably my favorite that I’ve seen in my adult lifetime (sorry London). Watching countries around the world join in solidarity to compete for athleticism was beautiful. Even in the midst of intense challenges, there was this camaraderie that didn’t feel like it would divide and cause wars. The most that would happen was initial frustration, but collectively there was an acceptance that this was all for fun. For some, like Rachel Gunn, it symbolized just the fun of being able to play the game. Others got to show off their craft and that’s downright admirable. As it stands, I saw Misty May Trainor at a volleyball game last year and it was a big deal. Olympic glory is a big deal. The fact men’s volleyball for Team USA won with a CSULB alumnus leading the pack meant the world to me.
Part of me thinks that a lot of the subtext in my commentary online during this time might’ve suggested the bitterness that I had deep down. Even as I raved about Peacock’s coverage, I couldn’t help but take swipes at how I found men’s basketball boring, or how I didn’t want to see Katie Ledecky win the 1500 by five hours. To me, even Simone Biles wasn’t interesting. I had my own lanes to enjoy and enjoy I did. Something implicitly kept me from actually engaging with a lot of Team USA stuff because deep down I didn’t care. I wanted to just watch good sportsmanship, and nowhere was that clearer than men’s BMX mountain racing. If you want to see a phenomenal finish, please track that down.
But I suppose the one upside to all of this was my equal disinterest in listening to the controversial stories. I actively ignored things that I thought would make my evening worse, and as a result I had more fun. I am not fully aware of the controversy surrounding a player that involved transphobia, but it was the type of bullshit that caused me to log off of Twitter for an indefinite period. For whatever reason, bigotry has bothered me a lot lately and I can’t deal with it unprovoked. This story in particular is so asinine that I don’t want to learn everything about why J.K. Rowling has burned her funeral pyre six times over by now.
Which is all to say that I felt conflicted this time around because I heard the chants of “USA!” and it was the first time in years where I didn’t feel proverbial guilt. There was some recognition of competition that warranted pride in my home country. It could be that I saw the pageantry of other countries shining alongside us. I was able to admire the flamboyance and just get lost in the rigamarole. It was beautiful because of how apolitical it was. To the extent that I believe everything is political and thus omits it as an excuse (yes, even how you tie your shoe), this was comparatively low stakes.
I compare that with the other major event of August. Following the announcement that Joe Biden was stepping down as president, Kamala Harris took over and immediately won over a lot of liberals. I have been a supporting voter of hers going back to California elections in 2016. To me, she is a beacon of hope for the party regardless of this news. I first heard of her when she debated Loretta Sanchez and swiftly won against a fairly buffoonish opponent. She’s only proven herself worthy since.
However, I think putting that in contrast of The RNC is saying a lot. Where that felt like a despair-filled week of mongering, The DNC was about hope and actually felt like it. You listen to Tim Walz speak and suddenly you see a vision of what America should be. It’s should be about respecting neighbors and having right to self-expression. It should be welcoming of so much more than it is. As silly as it was to hear people talk about abortion that much, it made an effective case for why Harris was worth voting for. Even the presence of former Long Beach mayor Robert Garcia in the line-up gave me hope. The fact that she’s rounded up every living president not running for president’s endorsement only speaks to how much we trust her.
I can’t say too much more about Harris-Walz or The DNC that’s new or organic. I did love the state votes part a lot. It’s surreal to see people like Lil Jon and Wendell Pearce really let loose on the mic, but it gave everything personality. Even the random Chappell Roan needle drop added something to evening (I’ll take this opportunity to also suggest that people respect her privacy and stop stalking her, please).
But to get to my bigger point. Hearing people chant “USA!” in this context felt strange. As much as I recognize this isn’t a new invention, hearing people chant slogans during speeches just made me nauseous. It could be that I am still grappling with the hope that I got from Hillary Clinton back in 2016 with much less enthusiasm, but it did feel a bit too naïve and lacked any deeper meaning. It’s not that they were saying anything defamatory, but I need to see results before I start just spouting things like “Kamala was Brat before Brat.” It could just be that I don’t like that Charli XCX album, but it was terribly cringe. I guess good on Gen-Z for wanting to make politics cool, but as someone who lived through 2015, I want politics to be fucking boring. Stay off of TikTok. Don’t use hashtags or memes. Just do your job. Trying to be cool isn’t the same as expressing empathy for your fellow man.
Anyway, I thought that I’d conclude by talking about the one thing that has brought a surprising amount of joy. I’ve been getting more into stand-up specials this year and every few nights I’ll put one on to see what amuses me. Right now Jacqueline Novak has my favorite of the year, but there’s still room for some surprises. Alongside Alex Edelman, the latest from Adam Sandler has won over my heart quite swiftly. While I liked 100% Fresh, there is something about Love You that I find miles even better and I found myself laughing at Sandler like I hadn’t since I was in high school. He’s surprisingly aged very well and only gotten better at delivering a buffoonish line or two. Maybe I was just in the right mood, but everything landed like it was supposed to. On top of my desire to revisit it soon, it’s gotten me eager to flip on an old favorite Funny People (2009) and see how well it’s aged. Something tells me I’ll be talking more at length about Love You in the not too distant future (tomorrow), so don’t be sad that I’m stopping here.
On the bright side, this is wrapping up a lot quicker than the entry for July 2024. I apologize again for not being as active on here as I probably should. To me, it’s been a difficult month to get a lot out that mattered. However, I’m hoping September revives me a little bit and things get back on track.
I don’t know all that’s going on in the next few weeks. What I can say is that this release coincides with the opening days of The Paralympics which I hope to be watching on Peacock. Similarly, if you have ESPN+ and are like me, you can be watching NCAA women’s volleyball in full starting this week. I am a big supporter of The Big West, so I’ll be keeping an eye on all of the teams. My hope is, of course, for Long Beach to go further than they did last year. I’m excited for Hawaii and Santa Barbara as well as seeing if Fullerton can break their losing streak that encapsulated their whole previous season. I’m a fan of The Titans, but something’s amiss with those guys.
Other than that, I am listening to a lot of Blur, Remi Wolf, and Magdalena Bay right now to get a quick pick-me-up. I’m hoping to also see Alien: Romulus (2024) in the near future. While I admit that I think most of these Alien films are a bit simple-minded, they do have an entertainment value that’s unsurpassed. With that said, I do have a soft spot for Prometheus (2012), which may be a bit on the silly side, but it still delivers on the chutzpah. That, and I’ll take any chance to see Michael Fassbender be awesome. I forgot how great he was until I saw The Killer (2023) last year and saw him deliver one of his absolute best roles. David Fincher is good at making those talking pictures, you know?
Also, I want to briefly mention that one of my favorite filmmakers has released a book that I’m looking forward to buying. Desiree Akhavan, best known for Appropriate Behavior (2015), The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018), and The Bisexual released a memoir called “You’re Embarrassing Yourself.” I’m very curious to see what she’s been up to.
Other than that, I’m sure that I’m leaving a lot out, but August has been a strange month. There’s been a lot of internal struggles for me and I’m still doing my best to get out of them. Fingers crossed that it happens naturally in the not too distant future. I’m worried about the worst happening, but thankfully it hasn’t yet. The trick is to continue striving for something greater. Maybe if I work hard enough on finding the problem and working on it things won’t be so bad. I hope that’s the case anyway.
That’s the dog days of summer. I hope that this month treated you better and ended summer on a great note. If nothing else, September offers potential to start anew and embrace the potential of a new season. I hope The Fall is kind to us all. There’s only 10 weeks to Election Day. It’s almost over. Do your best to make memories and create a world you want to live in. That’s all we can do sometimes. Take care.
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