Anyone can tell that summer is quickly approaching for one reason. Whereas I was grasping at straws to fill the past four entries of this column with meaningful tidbits, it’s difficult to whittle May down to a sensible line-up. That is why I’m going to do my best to cover what I can and apologize if it appears that I’m going on too long. To be honest, this wasn’t my most prolific month on The Memory Tourist, and I apologize for not being more vocal. However, that isn’t to say that memorable things haven’t happened. If anything, I feel dumb for not just feeding you along the entire way.
Like it’s insane to think that this month brought with it a Marvel movie that I would proudly list among the cinematic universe’s best. Thunderbolts* (2025) is quite easily my favorite since Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 (2017), if for no other reason than they share a perfect sense of humor with the darker themes that challenge the narrative while also fighting the studio-mandated baddie. Sure, The Void is no match for Kurt Russell’s Ego, but there’s still something thrilling about watching Disney experiment and play with characters in a way that feels significant. Not only that, but Yelena has long been a favorite of the new class, and I’ll follow her into the next phase which, speaking of, I have no idea what’s going on or how any of this will tie into Avengers: Doomsday (2026) in a little over a year now. It’s been exciting to be this clueless, but you’d also like to think that a dozen or so films would have more of a blueprint going.
At the same time, it’s amazing to note that this is the first month since February where I have seen multiple films in theaters. I’ve already written at length about The Weeknd’s vanity project, Hurry Up Tomorrow (2025), and think that it comes down on the side of future cult status. With that said, the experience of seeing a late evening show provided everything I would want. The laughter you’ve heard about was very much there, and the opaque plotting was no easier for me, someone who loves The Weeknd’s new album, to decipher. Still, it’s thrilling to see a production this creative yet confounding. The way people feel about Megalopolis (2024) is how I feel about this… though I would never say that Trey Edward Schult has made a film on par with peak Coppola. Like Waves (2019) is cool, but it’s not THAT cool if you feel me.
On some level, I start here because this is generally how I’d want to open an entry about the summer months. Part of me wants to read about people planning to pull the beach chairs out and have their updated version of Brat Summer™. We’re entering a more carefree time where some people go to a theater to watch Tom Cruise nearly kill himself. Others venture off to Cannes and remind me of how awesome Joachim Trier is. I’m sure there’s some youthful activities sprouting up, but I also feel like I’m sidetracked by what the larger news chooses to focus on.
Before I delve into my different anxieties, I want to start by suggesting that I’m nervous about June. There is part of me convinced that we’re about to enter one of the most tumultuous periods of modern American discourse. We already have seen this with many groups (read: assholes) establishing parades for “heterosexual awesomeness.” In some ways, it sounds much worse than the “super straights” movement from a few years back that thankfully quickly evaporated. This is all to say that we live in a country where a presidential candidate spent millions to advertise during The World Series how illegal immigrants were getting gender reassignment surgeries in prison. Where an ally was murdered at her place of business simply because she supported the queer community. Where actual riots took place because a school board chose to acknowledge June as Pride Month (others protested including Harvey Milk as a footnote in a textbook’s “activists” section). Where Target became so sheepish at selling Pride Merch due to violent threats that they screwed over what artists were working for them. Where the trans women in sports debate has become so toxic that California’s governor (who gained fame as Mayor of San Francisco in the 2000s for promoting gay marriage in his city) has started using the harmful defense of “biologically male.” There’s so much more that I could include here, but let me state the obvious… that “heterosexual awesomeness” parade can fuck itself. You can enjoy being straight, but pick another damn time to do it.
While I haven’t been the most vocal person when it comes to LGBTQIA+ issues, there is a part of me that has quickly become dismayed at the direction the country is going in. Having known several queer individuals who have done amazing things, it sucks to know that they’re being looked down upon simply because they’re an easy target. I’m grateful for whoever is out there fighting and, at very least, willing to start a constructive conversation. I still hate that the most that a president has talked about transgender rights was in the recent State of the Union when he laid out his plans to basically criminalize the behavior. Knowing that some of your childhood idols (I don’t need to name them, but you can guess, mate) are complete bigots now only makes you wonder why you should find hope in art’s fabrication ever again.
It sucks for many reasons, let alone that I fear violence. I fear that we’re reaching a point where ostracization is more American than apple pie. We’re already sending innocent citizens to concentration camps overseas. I live in a country that proudly talks about this across the local evening news by focusing on the objectively bad ones and not those who saw America as the land of opportunity. I hate that Harvard has basically been targeted just because it chooses to allow students to have free speech. For as much as we can buy into the “pride is a riot” logic that is very much in the LGBTQIA+ DNA, it doesn’t feel safe for everybody to do it, let alone risk opposing an unstable economy that’s threatening to let our younger generations down in ways other than identity politics. It’s so hard to have any hope about anything, especially given how close we are to having an Independence Day more reminiscent of dictator militarism than the drunken yahoos shooting off illegal fireworks to Sousa that we usually get. I don’t like the noise, but at least that dumb shit had personality.
I’m hoping to find some pride in the month ahead. I want to be shaken a little inside to remember what was great about Pride Month three years ago when it was “new” to me. Sure, I can be grateful that Long Beach continues to welcome the community and has parades. Even Los Angeles is scheduled for one real soon that will be televised. However, I need to be so lost in the moment that I forget violence and ostracization. I want to feel like I did a few years ago where I’d see banal films like Crush (2022) and feel charmed by the progress made that a menial teen lesbian comedy could have a happy ending.
Given that I’ve seen recent complaints over Disney giving old Pleakley’s cross-dressing ways the kibosh in Lilo & Stitch (2025), it makes me miss when it felt like they were trying. Strange World (2022) wasn’t amazing, but at least it felt genuine. Now seeing them cancel out trans characters only affirms the obvious… we’re going to have to find representation elsewhere. Even watching the old Lilo & Stitch TV show recently, I’m charmed by how quietly gay Pleakley was by wearing dresses and being more akin to a flamboyant gay uncle than an otherworldly weirdo. Sure, there’s something to be said for making queer characters an “other” in the sense of being extraterrestrial, but it did feel like that franchise was trying to be more than “I think I’ll practice my curtsy” with Scar.
So please, if you have good gay media to make June a little more fabulous, please send it my way. I need it at a time when I turn on the news and see the federal government picking fights with a trans athlete in California for simply competing. I guess the closest that I’ve come to any sense of optimism is a protest in front of the Scottish parliament in Holyrood where trans women protested by standing topless. It’s the type of smart messaging that I hope inspires something greater. If nothing else, it’s a nice break from the cis perspective, which hasn’t done enough to fight back against the tyranny.
Anyway, I’m sorry for going long here. I promise there was much more to this month than acting like Ethan Hawke in First Reformed (2017) where I stare at a computer and watch the world burn. It’s just that this Pride Month feels so antithetical to celebration that it’s impacting personal perceptions. For all that’s good in the world, how does one manage to see the good in things?
If nothing else, The WNBA season has started, and I’m so thrilled to be seeing three games soon enough. I’m beyond ecstatic to know that my favorite Kelsey Plum will be playing for The Los Angeles Sparks and will hopefully bring a lot of heat to the fire. Similarly, I look forward to seeing what The Golden State Valkyries will do, especially given that their home court culture looks to be great based on a League Pass game that I watched.
But that’s all for later. For now, I am working my way through The NBA Playoffs with a mixed bag. It goes without saying that I have always preferred the Western Conference. To me, that’s where the best match-ups lie, and it has mostly been true going into the semifinals. The Denver Nuggets have been the horse I’ve been betting on, and they have unfortunately fallen to The Oklahoma City Thunder. Cut to the chase, I am very impressed with what that young roster has produced so far and think that they’re geared for some amazing games going forward. For now, I will say that The Minnesota Timberwolves match-up was so underwhelming and obvious that I stopped watching after two games. I’ve never been a fan of blowouts, and it was evident that The Thunder were always a wrecking machine ever since they beat The Memphis Grizzlies in the first round by a near 40 points.
In a move that greatly shocked me, I am more invested in who will win The Indiana Pacers vs. The New York Knicks. They are two teams I cared so little about going in that I’m surprised how much investment I have in their overall series. If you haven’t seen the highlights from Game 1, do yourself a favor and watch it because it’s what NBA basketball is all about. The final minute tie to go into overtime was on another level amazing, and created the perfect deflation for The Knicks. It’s even funnier that Spike Lee wasn’t there to watch his team lose twice on their home court. If nothing else, they have more of an electric rivalry that I think is worth blowing up to make this season more interesting.
With that said, I still have The Thunder taking this whole thing. It wouldn’t be the first time this post-season that I’d be wrong, but one can hope it’s a well-earned fight nonetheless.
To shift to topics more relevant to me… I get to mention for the first time as an alumnus of Cal State Long Beach that my alma mater has produced THE BEST TEAM IN THE NATION. That’s right. We have always been unstoppable in men’s volleyball, but this year was special. Everywhere you turned, we were the biggest threat to The NCAA. While UCLA has long been a worthy foe, their ability to hold onto a repeat title failed. It was some thrilling gameplay, and I think it was only made better by how clearly the guys liked playing together. Many are on their way to professional leagues already, and I can only hope they make an appearance in the near future at The Olympics. If nothing else, Bulgaria will be fun to watch.
The good news is that I got to see them twice within the regular season. Even if neither can be called must-see games, I am happy to say that they gave each their all. Even if I’ve never felt one with the student body of CSULB, I’ve always loved going to The Pyramid and seeing the team be cheered on by a student section that really wants to be there. There’s people dressed as tacos yelling at the opponents. There’s people in the front rows orchestrating the madness. It’s such a great place to be, and while I know every school worth its salt can say that, I’m grateful to know that Long Beach has this much. As a program, The Big West doesn’t have much that could be considered nationally “the best,” but that’s what makes the volleyball program all the more special. They got to have a parade downtown and a ceremonial welcome back to campus right after the big win. It’s exciting times and I hope they last. Go Beach!
I’ll briefly touch on things I deem less important, notably that I attended both Big West Tournament’s baseball and softball finals. To be frank, the baseball game ranks as one of the most enjoyable afternoons of the sport I’ve had just because of the building narrative and the way that the audience fed off each other. I don’t know if it’s sacrilegious to suggest that baseball having nine innings is sometimes “too much,” but it’s because the back half is rarely as unpredictable and close as it ended up being. You held onto hope the whole time that U.C. Irvine would pull ahead of Cal Poly’s two-run lead, especially given that they were on their third game within 24 hours. They didn’t, but the optimism is why you go to sports. The fluctuation of emotions is unlike anything you’ll experience elsewhere. I’ll also give credos to the softball game, which was a lot of fun, but was also the victim of So Cal’s one weekend where it was 95°, and thus meant I was stuck in a fairly miserable condition.
Which isn’t to say that the weather has been abysmal here. If anything, it’s gotten into the moody part of the season where it’s mostly pleasant, but every few weekends you get the sense that the climate woke up and chose violence today. Thankfully, it wasn’t a problem when I attended the Los Angeles County Fair later in the month. There’s not a lot really worth sharing about it other than I have a strong pet peeve for people who walk slowly. That, and I managed to score a free copy of Thomas Pynchon’s “Bleeding Edge” at their small library. Big win for the day, especially given that the reclusive author has more coming this Fall.
Before shifting into the music section, I want to mention a stand-up special that just came out. As I discussed at the time of release, I was a big fan of Jerrod Carmichael’s “Rothaniel” and found it to be a masterclass in storytelling. It’s easily one of my favorite pieces of art from the current decade. I love his intimacy and candidness that balances harrowing revelations with humor that never fully pushes aside his own discomfort. Thankfully, his new special “Don’t Be Gay” shares similar thinking. While not nearly as impactful as “Rothaniel,” it still delivers an infectious hour of material that delves into the psyche of a man finding comfort in his skin. If nothing else, it’s the type of entertainment that makes me feel optimistic about the world and its ability to build empathy by just listening. Sure, some of the stories are a bit too crass, but they’re still endearing as portraits of one man’s life.
As one can expect, this was also an amazing month for music. At the top of the pile is Samia’s “Bloodless.” While I wasn’t a fan of her previous record, this one blew me away. I think her themes were more on point, and her lyrical potential reached even further into captivation. These songs were somehow both abstract and yet so personal that you felt like you were interrogating the unpleasant sides of her mind. Most of all, it’s just a satisfying, cohesive listen that never lets up, giving me one of the most irresistible storytelling albums of the year. Many are sure to come close, but I’m wondering how much I’ll come back to those by comparison.
Credit must also be given to Smerz, who came out of nowhere with “Big City Life” and gave me a sound that I didn’t know I wanted. Their singles had a lo-fi scuzzy minimalism that drew me in, eager to find meaning in the repetitive lyrics. I was especially impressed by how they used the low end of a keyboard to write a hook. It doesn’t sound flattering at first, but it all comes together to paint this muted emotion that is uniquely powerful. I’m unsure if it’ll rise above the other novelty favorites of the year like Marie Davidson or GFOTY, but it’s been a great go-to as of late. It also fits in the box next to another band I’ve recently discovered. Men I Trust’s “Equus Caballus” has that subdued quality that I haven’t gotten a lot of this year, but tend to fall hard for. It’s the perfect record to space out to and contemplate life while walking around and recontextualizing the world around you.
On a final note, this is likely to be the last time I talk about anything at length before The Tony Awards. I still have four shows to listen to to complete my bingo card, but I’m optimistic about this line-up. Let’s just say that I’m most excited to eventually hear a full record of Dead Outlaw just because Dave Yazbek has a phenomenal track record. I’ve also heard great things about Operation Mincemeat, which I’m assuming is the front-runner. Death Becomes Her is fun, but I have to imagine it’s tiring if you’re not into diva comedy.
I’ll briefly touch on Redwood, which is the new Idina Menzel show. I didn’t know much about it other than it was promoted at last year’s Tonys. Listening to the record, I can see why it missed the Best Musical cut. A lot of it is repetitive and nonsensical in ways that don’t translate well to the OBCR. I tried so much to give it a fair shake, but the premise is so strange, and some of the songs have amateurish writing. With that said, it has one of the most bombastic openings that I’ve heard in a long time (or at least since Lempicka) to the point I’m willing to give it a second chance. The operatics are insane, and it’s a perfect reminder of why I love theater. I’m not sure if this will be played at the ceremony, but I really hope to learn more just to see what a tree-hugger musical looks like in motion.
Towards the start of this essay, I mentioned how it was difficult to see the good in the world sometimes. As I was driving around near the start of the month, I found myself in Downtown Long Beach along the familiar streets of local businesses and gas stations. As I approached a stoplight, I saw this mural staring back at me. It was by Allison Bamcat. It doesn’t take much to understand how much my eye gravitated towards its oddity. Why was there a bird with a three-eyed cat head? Why did the woman have wings? It’s the type of psychedelic art that feels like pure innovation. To know that my city produced it gives me some sense of hope in creative expression. It may be a bit odd for my tastes, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it since, and it makes me curious to possibly see more.
And finally, I am proud to say that my latest novel, “Lava Lamp,” is currently available for purchase. It is $20 in paperback and will be out in digital on June 1 for $12. I’m excited to have it out in the world, and I encourage you to give it a chance. If you want to read an excerpt, go here. If you want to know more about the process it took to create the finished piece, I also wrote an essay on that. I’m very proud of what I’ve written and hope you like it. At the moment, I am currently moving forward with the next novel, which feels good after fine-tuning the previous work over four years.
So with that, I’ll finally say goodbye to May. It’s been a wonderful month that has given me a lot to ponder over. Obviously, I haven’t touched on everything (currently binging How To With John Wilson right now and it’s AMAZING), but that just shows how jam-packed the past few weeks have been. I’ve been doing plenty to make my life feel more meaningful, and I’m grateful for any chance I get to express myself in a creative manner. Thankfully, 2025 hasn’t been shy of things to produce, and I hope it continues to get more exciting from here.
For now, I approach June with recognition that it’s a tumultuous time in America’s history, and I’m worried about the division in this country. Things really should be better, but that’s something likely to happen years from now when the wound has become a severed gash of some kind. For now, I look for community and perspectives reflective of resilience and hope. If you haven’t, PLEASE watch All the Beauty and the Bloodshed (2022). It’s a documentary that restores some hope in how a community can come together and preserve itself through expression and art. It’s beautiful even as it’s tragic, and I think it speaks to what we must keep in mind as this Pride Month promises less welcomed rainbow capitalism. I’ll miss that sense of validation by seeing rainbows in a storefront (or, if you’re bisexual, apparently only on doggy bowls… I’m serious), but hey… it reminds you where the real attention should be. Don’t lose sight of what matters. Thank you for being yourself, and I hope you do something festive in the weeks ahead just to remember why life is worth living. Take care of yourself.
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