Overthinking “Floor is Lava”

The more that I think about it, the more that I feel like every modern game show is existing in the shadow of Holey Moley. The “extreme mini-golf” phenomenon from Steph Curry has returned for a second season that’s even bolder and more extreme. There’s water canons, electrocution, fire, and even porta potties that serve as obstacles doing everything to hold us back from the prize. It makes for entertaining TV, and the hosts Rob Riggle and Joe Tessitore have this infectious chemistry that makes everything go down a whole lot smoother. It’s an infectious show that requires actual skill, and it has set a bar for contemporary physical challenges, turning the template set by Ninja Warrior into something even more novelty.

I’ll admit that I haven’t watched a lot of the new game shows that have made the cut. There’s apparently shows with gladiators and extreme tag, but they all have this desperation to them that I can’t get on board with. Who would want to watch these? At most, I’ve turned to ABC’s middling Don’t and found a creative middle-ground that is at least trying to be its own beast. Even then, you can’t help but feel that Holey Moley’s DNA is informing its need to go for wild antics, such as Ryan Reynolds constantly Deadpooling us with voice-over jokes. Its avant-garde, I guess, though I wonder what the long-term appeal ultimately is.

Then there’s Floor is Lava.

Oh is there ever Floor is Lava. I applaud Netflix on getting into the game show market, especially after they uploaded old episodes of Jeopardy! (thanks) and that turned out to be a success. But the question is basically how they see this show standing on its own, producing something substantial and, at its core, interesting for more than a few episodes. That’s the big issue for everything that’s trying to be Holey Moley. The novelty of watching players get wiped out by physical disasters is entertaining, but I also want people who are capable of something greater, who can overcome the challenge with as much tongue-in-cheek dignity as they can muster.

If I can be transparent for a moment, I am secretly overjoyed by this concept. If you have been a child, you’ll already know what “the floor is lava” is like. You have to find every way to navigate a room without touching the floor. It’s a nice way to break your parents’ furniture and fills boring afternoons with a newfound sense of adventure. It’s something so juvenile and mundane that I am surprised that it took this long to adapt to a game show, especially one with as solid of production values as Floor is Lava. After all, TV has thrived on the ridiculous slapstick of everyday people falling into the great unknown below. How have we not seen hundreds of people fall into lava already?

I’ll also admit that my being overjoyed isn’t any closer to justifying how dumb it is as a concept. There’s no real subversion of something reputable to be had here. At most you’re just using a giant challenging field in ways that are clever but always feel random. Oh sure, one set includes props you’d find in a bedroom (including a rotating bed and a flexible vanity mirror), but there’s no reason for any of these to be symbolic. The show does the bare minimum to make the set make sense. It’s just a place that’s full of lava and, depending on which level you’re on, even has bubbling lava that will attack you. While falling in is an immediate disqualification, getting drenched in the hot magma is somehow acceptable.

Again, the floor is not really lava. As far as I can tell it doesn’t scar the skin and fill you with this agony that you’d expect. Instead, it’s a dramatic fall that only makes winning that much more difficult. In some cases, you can win with one person. However, there is often a need for an additional partner, which only makes it more challenging. If you are on a bubbling lava course, your surfaces become slippery, and it only makes the road there difficult. Almost every move requires a jump of some sort, so knowing your laws of motion will go a long way.

The big issue is not Floor is Lava itself. Oh sure your willingness to go along with a brazenly stupid idea will determine your enjoyment, but something that really hurts this show for me is how much it wants to be a Holey Moley. When you watch that show, there is an endearing dynamic to Riggle and Tessitore. They have this charisma that satirizes golf announcers so perfectly that it makes every random replay of goofy mishaps all the more interesting. 

What does Floor is Lava have? It has Rutledge Wood. 

I have nothing against Rutledge Wood as a person. I’m sure he’s a decent guy who just suffered having to deliver hack jokes for this gig. With that said, he makes the average episode a tad more insufferable, proving to be redundant in ways that cheapen the impact of the show. Oh sure, I’m fine with him giving out cheap lava lamps as prize trophies, but whenever he’s required to do a voice-over, there is something terrible about it. It takes away from what we’re watching and reminding us that this show is supposed to be stupid, and does so in a very condescending way.

Considering that every episode features three contestants playing the same level, it means that Rutledge gets to have three different tries of things. Had this been your chock-a-block TV show with commercial breaks, it would make more sense. But, considering that most people reasonably watch Netflix as one fluid piece, certain decisions become annoying quickly. His need to remind you on the second and third group’s round of recognizable obstacle tricks doesn’t allow the audience to have any fun with solving it on their own. We’re left hearing how the show wants us to figure things out.

The only thing worse is the use of jokes. In the level with a rotating bed, he makes the joke that “they should be getting dizzy” at least eight times without any greater build. Similarly, he once joked about one player by saying “looks like the lone wolf has become a lone kangaroo.” I’m sure there’s “random for random’s sake” crowd that will love this, but otherwise, it’s a joke about a man jumping to the next pod that makes no sense. Get used to that. Similarly, get used to him doing tired replays set to classical music, with people crashing into the lava in some perverse remix. It’s supposed to be funny, but the longer it goes on the more you just realize that Floor is Lava’s penchant for injury (especially to the jaw, for some reason) makes this whole exercise more futile.

That’s the thing. You’re limited in chances to watch people fall into the lava. You arguably only get three per round, and the show’s desire to milk it is awful. While wild jumps that magically land are much more interesting, the show can’t help but want people to fall in, even as you’re eager to see them succeed. There is something for me personally that treats every fall into lava as this tragic moment, whether because they just busted their jaw or because it means they are set that much back. To me, it’s a sad moment and there are times where you believe that Floor is Lava will treat it with some reverence. It doesn’t. It will just do a hard cut to that remixed classical music for a tired joke.

It’s such a shame that all of this has to exist because, if I’m being honest, the show underneath is actually pretty fun. It’s no masterpiece, but if you cut out the voice-over and gimmicks, there’s a good chance that this could be a tense and enjoyable experience.

Each team is made up of three friends from different professions and backgrounds. Together they must navigate the room that is said to have several ways to clear. If you’re like me, there’s already a fun strategy of looking at the overlays and trying to figure out how you would personally do it. Given my lack of physical capability, I am more than confident that I would be the first to fall. Even then, the idea of jumping onto Easter Island heads and pyramids sounds like fun. How exactly do you make it work to your advantage, especially since there are hidden tricks to make things easier? I love that feeling that comes with each course, and I admire the production crew’s ability to make every run (averaging eight minutes) into a tense ride.

Then there’s the trio themselves. They are so caught up in the moment that what you’re seeing is teamwork. For me, it’s the most endearing part of the show. I love watching people work together to overcome their problems. This is one of those that distills it to its essence while placing it into a goofy scenario. After all, isn’t our proverbial floor (America) covered in a Coronavirus-style lava? We will lose loved ones along the way, and it’s only if we work together that we can hope to defeat it. 

That is why I’m verklempt by the whole experience. This is a cross-section of contestants who genuinely believe that they stand a chance. They believe in the potential to overcome every obstacle, literally. It’s inspiring in this very dumb way that makes the world feel much more tolerable right now. In a time where everything feels divided and hostile, Floor is Lava reminds us that people DO work together and want to see the world survive this hellish landscape. 

That may be why the voice-over, no matter how playful, rubs me the wrong way. It trivializes what works very well about it, making it feel like every other game show of this kind. It breaks my heart because it’s not simple to just mute it. You want to hear how these players work together, believing that their dreams will come true. To have it interrupted by these insincere comedic beats just kills tension, making it unnecessarily clear how dumb this whole exercise is. Why can’t we just have some escapism that doesn’t comment on how dumb it is?

Overall, I think that Netflix has something good on their hands. I would hate to see this show on network TV, cutting up these eight-minute sequences into longer, more insufferable sequences. I’ll admit that each bit may feel long and interminable at times, but it all comes around to being this subliminal emotional investment that makes you care. For these 10 minutes, these people are the most important individuals in the world, and I love how Floor is Lava captures that. It’s when the show reaches the heights of Holey Moley, though even that is short-lived all things considered.

Because of its overwhelming bells and whistles, I don’t honestly think it works as a binge-worthy program. I feel like I will cherish these 10 episodes, consuming them like a responsible adult looking at sugar intake. Taking too much at once will make it unpleasant, highlighting how tedious things can be. However, I find that one every now and then scratches an itch that is so, so satisfying. The world is too chaotic right now, why not just enjoy one of life’s simpler pleasures?

While I still long to find a game show I love as much as Holey Moley, I have to give props to the parts of Floor is Lava that works. While it’s unfortunately too conventional and similar to other game shows to be something totally special, it does enough to remind me why I like game shows as a national pastime. It’s the way of finding the good in humanity and wanting it to exceed, even if you’re just crossing a floor made of lava. I know it’s dumb. You know it’s dumb. I’m sure every contestant knows that, and yet we all do it for the sake of fun. That’s what makes this show great. When it allows us to just enjoy the ambiance, it’s a game we get to play as fantasy, mapping our own route across as we follow emotional arcs that are, frankly, lacking.

Still, when somebody falls into lava, there is no sadder pain. It isn’t the jaw injury, but the hope being smashed of a team crossing unscathed. We continue to believe that the next group will do better, and that’s what will keep me coming back.