Sales Rack: The Nets, James Harden, and The Fat Suit Conspiracy

With tomorrow marking the start of The 2021-2022 NBA Season (the 75th anniversary), it feels like a great time to look back on what makes this sport great. In the weeks leading up, there’s no doubt that many have speculated who will pull ahead, which rookies will break through, and if Zion Williamson will ever get to have a team worthy of his talent. So many questions remain up in the air, and with the first tip-off, it becomes exciting to think that anything is possible. What will this year’s big surprise be? Will we be seeing The Milwaukee Bucks return in The Age of Giannis™, or will the team that lost to them in the eastern conference finally get their shot?

Pound for pound, Game 7 of The Bucks vs. The Nets was one of my favorite games of the year. It’s one of those spontaneous experiences that makes you realize the thrill of the sport, the fragility of believing that one team holds an advantage. It ultimately came down to one play, of The Nets’ Kevin Durant stepping on the three point line that would’ve cemented the lead and taken them to The Finals. Had he been only a few centimeters back, The 2020-2021 season would look VERY different. There would’ve been no overtime where a clearly exhausted Nets needed that extra oomph. Instead, it was a 1% error that is impossible to forget, one that will likely be discussed for some time, serving as the season’s great “What if?”

That is what makes The Nets exciting going into 2021-2022. There’s no doubt that they have the manpower to become the top team in New York. I’m not faulting anyone who is choosing to bet some money on the team coming back stronger. Much like The Bucks last season after an unceremonious exit the year prior, loss is the best motivator. 

But here’s the thing. As much as that Game 7 reflected two titans battling it out, it was also evidence of how the team was coming up short. While supporting players like Blake Griffin stepped up, “The Big 3” that the team had been built around was still a work in progress. The promise of seeing Durant play opposite James Harden and Kyrie Irving was supposed to be this triumphant display of basketball. Many were prematurely comparing it to the 2017-2018 season of The Golden State Warriors, wondering if their skill could match. 


Maybe it would if they ever played together for more than a few games at a time. Certain things were clear, that building The Nets was a work in progress. To Durant’s credit, his trade from The Warriors to The Nets following a torn Achilles turned out to benefit the team a year later. He became their star, especially as Irving became injured and, in important games, the usually reliable three-pointers of Harden were coming up short. The former Houston Rocket member was accused of being replaced with a sleepy clone. Given that there’s controversy around Irving not wanting to get vaccinated for religious reasons, it does seem like The Nets are already at an uphill battle to believe that The Big 3 will EVER be this amazing wunderkind of showmanship.

However, before the season starts, I wanted to focus on the funniest part of the transformation for The Big 3. It is already the stuff of lore, both making Harden look like a complete asshole and a mad genius. It’s the type of move that, no matter whose side you’re on, you just have to laugh, realizing that whereas players like Ben Simmons of The Philadelphia 76’ers couldn’t get traded no matter he did, Harden allegedly used a fat suit to get traded from The Rockets to The Nets while rejecting an incredibly generous $50 million salary to stay in Texas.

To back up a bit, I thought that I’d share why I love this story. Prior to 2021, The Rockets were my favorite soap opera. Plain and simple, there was something about the way that the team was built that seemed designed to implicate conflict. A lot of it was the result of Harden’s own hubris, whether it was picking fights with The Bucks’ Giannis Antetokuomnpo over an M.V.P. title or an inability to play with either Chris Paul or Russell Westbrook in ways that produced results. Given that he was also wearing the blue stripe Punisher masks, he courted as much controversy as the former owner Daryl Morey, who prior to the 2019-2020 season starting caused China to boycott The NBA. There are endless ways that The Rockets were more fun to watch in the news cycle, if just because they could be seen as tragic antiheroes. They had a talented player who seemed prone to never get a single ounce of respect despite having one of the most recognizable beards in the league.

But it was the last straw in the off-season of 2020. The Rockets, predictably, crumbled. Westbrook went to The Washington Wizards and Morey moved to Philadelphia. Harden refused to work with new coach Stephen Silas, demanding to be traded. During that time he was constantly seen out partying, drinking, and being about as reckless as a player could be. During a pandemic, he was often seen hanging out with crowds indoors not wearing masks, lavishing his friends with expensive gifts, and ultimately trash talking The Rockets as an organization. 


Given that he was still considered one of the best players in the league, this seemed like a great anomaly. He was coming off of a season where he was once again nominated for M.V.P., serving as the heart and soul of The Rockets organization. For all of their losses, he was reliable. It is why he was offered $50 million to stay despite all signs pointing to the end times of Houston standing any greater chance at victory in the near future. Given that Westbrook had been traded for John Wall (himself coming off of an injury), it was clear that 2020-2021 was going to be a scorched earth season. The new line-up spent months trading players in and out only to wind up not only the worst in the western division but with the worst record in the league.

I personally don’t fault Harden for jumping ship, though the way he went about it may have been seen as rude or even wrong. With that said, it has become more common for players to control their contracts, of players getting to decide their fate. In 2019-2020, Andre Iguodala refused to play with The Memphis Grizzlies before months later being traded to The Miami Heat. It was clear that the stars were gaining power, and Harden clearly wanted in. He had seen how Durant had effortlessly staged a trade to The Nets and thought that he could do it. The only catch? He had to work a little harder to get anyone to notice despite being very loud and boisterous about it.

It should be noted that I do not condone making fun of anyone’s physical appearance. I think it is a harmful behavior that only promotes dysmorphia. With that said, I do not have answers as to whether this conspiracy is more than just that. Given that Harden, on either end of this moment in time, was healthy and in top physical form, I have to produce some skepticism. Too many variables line up to suggest that this was either a scheme, or evidence that Harden has one of the greatest regiments in human history. 

When The Rockets finally regrouped for preseason, it wasn’t clear if Harden would be there. By this point, he had been more than clear that he didn’t want to play along. That is why when he finally emerged, it was startling to see this once slender man running onto the court with a portly appearance. Some would argue that he put on upwards of 20 or more pounds. It didn’t make sense. Didn’t he have enough time to get back into shape and prepare for the season? What was going on? No matter what, it felt like a giant disrespect to The Rockets. 

Rumors immediately began to fly, making one wonder if this was the end of his status as a great. Given that he still was doing good work, often dominating the team in terms of points scored, it didn’t make sense. The internet was quick to make fun of his weight gain, believing that he was turning into a slob who would be watching basketball from his couch by the end of the season, even more overweight. 

Then it happened. After publicly attacking the team and doing the bare minimum in certain games, news finally broke. On January 14, 2021, Harden got his wish and was traded to The Nets along with a 2024 second-round pick from The Cleveland Cavaliers. In return, The Nets traded off Jarrett Allen and Taurean Prince along with rights to The Cavaliers. Meanwhile, Caris LeVert and Rodios Kurucs and three first-round picks (in 2022, 2024, and 2026 respectively) to The Rockets. The Cavilers also traded Dante Exum and first round (2022) and second round (2024) pick to Brooklyn.

The future of both teams was officially being written on the wall. With this blockbuster trade, The Rockets lost the last of their potential to be considered a genuine threat. It was also around this time that Harden began to drop the weight, returning to his former self. The question ultimately became whether or not he was in fact wearing a fat suit. It didn’t make sense given that he had a dramatic weight change in a matter of weeks. 

The rumors flew. Was he doing it just to get out of his contract? If that was the case, one had to wonder how he pulled it off without anyone noticing. Either he paid off his teammates who were likely already annoyed at him, wanting him to leave if he didn’t want to participate, or he was getting changed in some other room. While there are counterarguments to suggest that it was merely an unflattering angle or that the situation itself was overblown, the recognizable waistline left many concerned.

A popular theory that falls more on the practical side was that it was the result of extreme dieting and regiment. Given that he was seen doing excessively reckless behaviors in the months before, the weight gain itself wasn’t surprising. It was just that counterbalanced with everything else known about him that it was difficult to believe that this was a coincidence. Still, once The Nets’ proposition gained traction, he lost the weight. Many attribute this likely to being salt and water stored in his body that needed to be sweated out, rebuilding muscle along the way.

It is tough to say how effective this was as anything but Harden once again being a great showman. There’s a reason that even if you don’t like him, there’s a good chance that you’ll remember him for his theatrics and boisterous personality. While his move to The Nets so far hasn’t been anything to reclaim M.V.P. about, he has moved more towards a role player that has allowed him to at least be an interesting athlete again. It was clear that he was growing stagnant on The Rockets and needed a change of scenery. Sure, it’s still Durant’s team for the taking, and Harden’s status among The Big 3 doesn’t yet feel totally earned, but it has revitalized his career in a manner that at least makes the next few years something worth tuning in for.

As much as I’m sad that my favorite soap opera in The NBA is officially over, at least it ended on such a bizarre note that I can’t help but applaud. In a move not seen since Charles Barkley gained the nickname “The Round Mound of Rebound,” Harden found a way to dupe the world into giving him what he wanted. Love or hate the decision, he did it with a way to keep all eyes on him, even as Houston was fading into irrelevance for the season. Had he stayed on the team, there’s a decent chance that this story would end differently, that The Rockets maybe wouldn’t be in last place, but Harden would have one of his sorrier seasons.

It makes sense for an aging player to feel that way. After so many years in the league of being perceived as an important player, it seemed underwhelming to know how low his team was on the standings. Much like Chris Paul with The Phoenix Suns, there is that sense that Harden is working towards those Finals, doing everything he can to lift that trophy and finally cry out with joy. Maybe he wouldn’t win Finals M.V.P. (that’s likely Durant at this point), but he would be a considerable attribute to the team. Sure, one can see it as selfish or even arrogant, but from Harden’s perspective, it’s now or never.

The only catch now is getting The Nets’ team as a whole to realize this and have everyone (and I mean everyone) work together. Whereas Harden “wearing a fat suit” is just silly, having Irving potentially miss crucial games and receive fines seems counterproductive. What happened to The Big 3 being unstoppable? It’s fine that it took them a year to figure out what they’re doing, but now that they have a good idea, it’s time for them to show off just what they have and start this season with a pretty great comeback story. The ball’s in your court, Brooklyn. Don’t let us down.

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