Well, this is awkward. When I started How I Live Now a year ago, the intention was to have a moment every month where I could get personal and share things going on in my life. As loyal readers will know, that didn’t entirely work out as I not only took a giant hiatus a few months into 2021, but I also haven’t produced one of these since October. This isn’t to say that life hasn’t been eventful. In that time I’ve celebrated one of my best Christmases in years, saw Hamilton, was in the same room as Luka Dončić, and even started a university class focused entirely around the great James Joyce. I have a lot going on. It’s just that things haven’t lined up in a way that’s allowed me to write.
Unfortunately, this isn’t going to be an elaborate deconstruction of those months away. In fact, the self-imposed hiatus is still scheduled for a few more weeks. What I will say is that as the clocks turned into 2022, there was the hope that this year would be different. I am not somebody who ever believed that COVID-19 would go away quickly. It’s not the cynical disregard of anti-maskers, but just the understanding that a pandemic is very difficult to contain, to understand. The fact that there was a vaccine planned within the first year continues to astound me. Do I believe that Omicron’s near the end? So much as the doctors tell me it is. Still, too many people are dying every day and anti-vaxxers are too prevalent to make me believe that there’s going to be some miraculous return to normalcy by the end of the year. We may be CLOSER, but we won’t be there.
Given how transparent I have been about my anxiety stemming from quarantine culture, I do still fear that I will in some ways emotionally regress. Even if I notice the patterns, there are days where it feels like a giant struggle to maintain optimism, to check my mental health, and to notice when I need to change something for the better. I have been imperfect, but I like to think that I’ve done things safely. The constricting binds I felt I was in this time last year don’t feel as prevalent. They’re still there, but I don’t feel as hopelessly suffocating from them.
With that said, I hope to make 2022 the best that I can. It’s a new set of 12 months to achieve something meaningful. I don’t exactly know what that is yet, but those who have been reading The Memory Tourist over the past month will recognize signs of what’s to come already. The most notable is a new series called Short Stop, which will be breaking down every entry in William Faulkner’s “Collected Stories.” I have just written the second entry on “Shingles for the Lord” and hope to cover all 42 works by the end of the year. If this goes well, I may consider doing this every year.
The other noteworthy column is my first TV recap series in several years. With Euphoria returning for season two, I decided to start Rue the Day where I break down every episode in a stream of consciousness way. While I do not believe that I’m saying anything revelatory in them, I do like to think that it’s helping me to better engage with TV and write in a less stuffy manner. If anything, it’s helping me determine if I want to do similar columns in the near future.
What I will say about Euphoria so far is that I’m happy that Sam Levinson has grown more confident with his cast and is pushing them in interesting directions. The one thing that has been especially fulfilling is his willingness to return to the debate about whether Rue is asexual. While I personally disagree (still waiting on the “Lexi is ace” moment), I do appreciate the effort to explore queerness in more open ways. I do think the show is moving away from the dreamlike feel of the first season in favor of something more operatic, like a Greek tragedy, but only time will tell.
Though while we’re on the subject of queer art. I recently watched Sally Potter’s phenomenal adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s “Orlando.” Throughout four centuries, Tilda Swinton plays a person who changes their biology and discovers different emotions when inhabiting their sexes. It’s a beautiful movie and one that captivated me from its elegant costume design to Swinton’s performance and even the score. The music in particular moves swiftly from style to style, evolving and even incorporating masculine and feminine aesthetics in ways that are powerful. If nothing else, this sets the bar high for me wanting to go down a Swinton rabbit hole very soon.
Also, this past week Amy Schneider became the second longest-running winner on Jeopardy! in history, only bested by Ken Jennings. I am so happy for her. My plan is to write a piece over the weekend on her amazing run and have it published sometime early next week. Just know that for those who have been skeptical of the Post-Trebek era, it’s not as bad as you think. Yes, the Mike Richards conflict was awful and maybe harmed the show’s immediate trajectory, but they have done an excellent job of returning to the standard for the series. Jennings is fine, but more importantly in a time where you have contestants like Schneider and Matt Amodio, I think the spirit of what Jeopardy! has always been about is alive and well.
For the most part, my January has qualified as uneventful. For the first few weeks, I’ve mostly done what I could to enjoy my winter break before returning to one of my most reading-intensive school semesters in a long time. I’m nervous about pulling it off but given that I read three novels in three weeks, I think that I have the cognitive abilities to pull it off. I am especially excited to dig into James Joyce, if just because I was such a big fan of “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man” and want to learn more. I am sure that “Ulysses” will be a beast and a really confusing experience, but in an academic setting I hope to better appreciate the text.
I also began the year on a fairly strong note. My first trip back to theaters was for Licorice Pizza (2021), which easily ranks among Paul Thomas Anderson’s best works. Maybe it’s my own affection for Southern California as a mythology, but it’s a perfect movie about what it feels like to live here. I wasn’t alive during the Nixon Era, but I recognize those streets so perfectly, where everyone is putting on a scheme just to be accepted by others. Even the most genuine of people are trying to get some incentive out of every interaction. It’s a meandering story, but I love its vivid and diverse take on this state. It’s easily my favorite since The Master (2012) and I cannot wait to watch it again if just to embrace every small detour this story takes.
There was also the personal decision to finally invest in Spotify. I am by no means a trendy person. I am behind on a lot of things, and it does intimidate me to fall in love with contemporary culture only to discover that nobody else likes it. This is more true for music, if just because I’ve gone through periods of seclusion from modern trends. Seeing people do End of the Year Wraps at times has made me jealous, wondering what I would get if I allowed myself to just dive headfirst into whatever impulsive decision I wanted to make. I’m less concerned about being trendy so much as just trying to embrace what sounds right to me.
So far the grand revelation has been Phoebe Bridgers. I have discovered a lot of fun artists, but none have resonated as much as her. I feel that it’s cliché at this point to discover her work, especially given how highly praised she was when “Punisher” came out. But seriously, if you haven’t listened to “Punisher,” please do. It’s an amazing album and I love how creatively she uses language, able to paint pictures and tell stories that captivate you. She leaves with you an emotion, the feeling of having experienced the events of the song yourself. I haven’t had a lot of time to listen to her bigger catalog, but every now and then I’ll put Bridgers on and just appreciate an artist that I vibe with. I’m happy to see artists doing something unique getting the respect they deserve.
On a side note, I feel obligated to mention Lana Del Rey’s new song “Watercolored Eyes.” I think that it’s good, but there’s nothing that’s necessarily sold me on it being a new standard from her yet. The good news is that it’s not as forgettable as “Big Eyes,” but given that we just got two masterpiece albums from her last year, I can forgive this B-Side for not being totally up to snuff.
In the world of TV, I just finished Yellowjackets. In an age where everything is on demand, it’s honestly refreshing to have this show air over 10 weeks and allow build-up. I’ve greatly appreciated how it found an audience and I got to enjoy fans forming theories and getting lost in the iconography of the show. Given that I have formed a soft spot for the 90s throwback vibe that 2021 seemed to provide, I do believe that this is one of the best to do it. If nothing else, the use of cast members (Christina Ricci, Juliette Lewis, Melanie Lynskey) has a lot of fun nods to the past without making it annoying and obvious. While I’ve enjoyed other shows like Station Eleven, it’s been harder to stay on top of them because of HBO Max’s very bad release model, choosing for a mass dump instead of building over time.
Also, I’m desperately looking for animated comfort watches to help me get through the semester ahead. In the past, I’ve used She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Centaurworld, and The Owl House as decompressors for when I’m feeling bad. Based on research, I came to the conclusion of checking out this older cartoon Infinity Train, which seems very promising. It’s an anthology series about people on a train trying to make it out alive… so basically, Snowpiercer (2014) for kids. I love its wild and imaginative setting so far and I like how unpredictable it is episode to episode, managing to be dark and lighthearted in perfectly balanced tones. Given that each episode is 11 minutes, it also helps to slide it in during brief downtime between classes.
Though speaking of trains and “Downtime,” I am proud to announce that my second novel is officially available for purchase. It’s a story that follows a bunch of wayward travelers trying to get home for the holidays and the various hijinks they get into on the way there. I personally think that it’s a much more streamlined and entertaining read than my first “Apples & Chainsaws.” It is currently available on Amazon for $14 with plans for a digital version to be made available in the next month.
I will admit that this hasn’t been my most eventful month, but it is a good time to return to a monthly tradition. I am sorry for taking as much time away as I have. I’m personally trying to balance productivity with mental health, and lately, sabbaticals from social media have been beneficial for me. It is likely that 2022 will have that again, though hopefully in more moderated ways. For now, I begin the year with the anticipation of growth. Who knows what I can make of this year? Maybe I can make it better than the last. Whatever the case may be, I hope to have more stories to share very soon. The Memory Tourist is planning to have a soft relaunch during the second week of February, so I hope everyone’s ready for more fun there.
But February will be fun, I promise. If nothing else, I hope to make it a lot more enjoyable than the last. Who knows? Maybe Jackass Forever (2022) can inspire me to write 2000 words of poetic beauty. It’s definitely something I plan to see hopefully on opening day with an enthusiastic crowd. It’s crazy to believe that I’ve seen the last two that way – and that they both coincided with Beavis and Butt-head revivals. Still, if there’s any way to better say “Carpe diem,” let me know. Johnny Knoxville is timeless. He’s been bruised and battered and still gets up. Maybe in 2022, I can do the same.
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