The most appealing thing about The Waitresses has always been trying to understand just how much of a joke band they were. It’s evident in their two radio hits “I Know What Boys Like” and “Christmas Rapping” that feature Patty Donahue singing in a flat affectation. She seems too cool for the audience, where she expects them to laugh at the various teasing she does. The lyrics by Chris Butler definitely have a sense of humor to them, but the real question is whether the band as a whole is a joke. They never had the most polished sound and the presentation felt like Donahue playing a waitress bored during her smoking break, singing her woes in front of a catchy new wave backing band.
An interesting side note is that the band was formed in Akron, OH, a.k.a. Rubber City U.S.A. For a hot minute in the late 70s, it became the next hub for independent music. This was because of DEVO, who were currently blowing up the charts with “Whip It” and outdoing every new wave band in the high concept department. There had to be something “weird” about any band that hoped to stand out at the time. For The Waitresses, it was literally starting as a novelty band that played in-between sets by Butler’s other band Tin Huey. Think about The Tom Tom Club during Stop Making Sense (1984) and you’ll begin to get an idea of what Donahue’s early days with Butler were like.
Despite emphasizing a female perspective, the lyrics were by Butler. Before he even met Donahue, he had the rough cut of “I Know What Boys Like,” which he was confident would be a hit. The story goes that during a break in Tin Huey’s set, he would invite her up to perform, claiming that they would be The Waitresses for this one song. The funny thing is that while it was a memorable part of their set, most of The Waitresses were made up of new people when things finally took off. They started as something fictional and only became real when Butler moved to New York and sold the demo to ZE Records. After that, he acquired a band that included Billy Ficca: the former drummer for Television.
An interesting dilemma for the band is whether or not they had any sincerity in their existence. It wasn’t uncommon for men to write songs for women, though “I Know What Boys Like” is interesting in this context. It’s a fantasy, of holding sexual power over men and teasing them as they fell for her tricks. It helps that Donahue sells the disaffected vibe of the song, though the question as to whether it’s an earworm or one of the worst songs written remains up for debate.
To continue a certain debate brought up in the Bow Wow Wow piece: is there something problematic about men writing for women? In some respect, it plays out as a fantasy. The Waitresses’ lo-fi qualities already felt like a satire of new wave. The thing about Bow Wow Wow that was always bothersome was that Malcolm McLaren had an underage immigrant singing exclusively sexual innuendos. It felt exploitative. As far as I understand, Donahue agreed to sing Butler’s lyrics and were more consenting adults. The Waitresses’ sound may not be as exciting or fresh, but it’s far less problematic and thus easier to listen to.
Another fun thing is that they join a subset of Make It New subjects to feature a horn section. Following The English Beat and X-Ray Spex, they featured Ralph Carney on saxophone. Their sound also varied in and out of a 2Tone ska, finding many of their sounds able to bounce with life. Sure the guitar sounded creaky at times, but there was something infectious to the instrumentation. Tracy Wormworth and David Hofstra on bass had a lot of great grooves. The drums had a driving force that kept things exciting. They may have sounded more independent than many bands covered, but it was part of their charm. By the time they were signed to Polydor Records, they had landed on something that worked.
To Butler’s credit, he noticed that he needed to write more authentic songs if Donahue was supposed to sing Talking to all of his women friends, he formed the basis for the album “Wasn’t Tomorrow Wonderful?” and created something that if not more successful than “I Know What Boys Like,” then at least fleshed out the band to something with actual potential. Songs like “No Guilt” found Donahue singing about having responsibilities like paying taxes. While there’s something lighthearted about the initial read, they become stronger when realizing that it’s secretly a break-up track about how she doesn’t need his codependence.
Time and again, the album has an impressive gift for mixing scathing lyrics with catchy instrumentation. “It’s My Car” has an authoritative quality mixed with traces of humor. Even the title song had a fun groove that reflected Butler’s desire for witty lyrics that played with concepts. An interesting thing about The Waitresses was that the further their lyrics got from artifice the more that they became an interesting band. When Donahue sang of more universal, less gender-based concepts, she had a way of making the songs pop. Tracks like “Quit” showed her exploring a different kind of independence with all the class of a burned-out employee.
While not actually on the album, “Christmas Rapping” would be their other major hit. It was part of a ZE Records Christmas album called “A Christmas Record” that featured Was (Not Was) and Suicide. To say the least, it’s one of the more eclectic compilations out there, even landing on radio shows like Dr. Demento. It is easily their most accomplished song in terms of production and the lyrics have a tightness, deconstructing holiday activities with a sense of exhaustion that is highly relatable. Given how Donahue sang it, there was something even more timeless about it – especially when accompanied by the saxophone during the bridge. Not bad for a song that the band openly admits was done more as a favor to the label and not something they took seriously.
Unlike most bands covered so far, neither song charted well enough to be a hit. It wasn’t like Buggles or The Vapors who were one hit wonders with proven success to back them up. The Waitresses had two inescapable songs, but not necessarily on the charts. In fact, it wasn’t until much later that “Christmas Rapping” caught on with covers by The Spice Girls and Save Ferris. It would get so popular that even later on there would be covers by Doug Benson, the cast of Glee, and even the Broadway musical Wicked. This holiday staple has had an insane trajectory that has eclipsed “I Know What Boys Like” in terms of popularity – though both remain recognizable throwback hits.
Another unfortunate irony of The Waitresses is that their fate is not unlike half of the new wave bands covered so far. Following “Wasn’t Tomorrow Wonderful?” in 1982, they released “Bruiseology” the following year and pretty much disappeared after. The band lasted six years, officially ending in 1984. Each band member went in their own direction with Butler returning to experimental music and Donahue moving behind the scenes, working as an A&R rep for MCA Records. She would also collaborate with super fan Alice Cooper on the song “I Like Girls.” Before they disbanded, they did have one more pop culture touchstone with the theme song for the Sarah Jessica Parker TV series Square Pegs.
A lot of questions continue to linger over The Waitresses’ career. Were they actually any good? Was Donahue just Butler’s puppet? In terms of the latter, Butler has suggested that Donahue is her own woman. Despite the potential misogynistic reading of “I Know What Boys Like,” there was nothing to suggest that she was pushing some message that she was uncomfortable with. As for the former, it’s really dependent on personal tastes. There’s clearly some draw that has kept them in the spotlight. The only tragedy is that most of their more recent success happened following the death of Donohue from cancer in 1996. She was only 40. Unlike most Make It New subjects, it also meant that any reunion, no matter how brief, was not in the cards to bank on their newfound success.
For me personally, I really like The Waitresses. They had an offbeat quality that appeals to me and I enjoy Donahue’s flat affectation. It feels like the perfect piece of musical antagonism. They also had the potential to release four or five albums with interesting songs that grew more challenging. I imagine that “Christmas Rapping” is a brief glimpse into what they could’ve been had they grown into a more confident band, experimenting with orchestration and even having funny instrument cues. The fact that they have an immediacy even when it sounds like they’re phoning it in appeals to me. They were another unclassifiable new wave band. I can’t totally pin down how they sound like Soft Boys or Orange Juice. They’re their own beast and I love that. People who are talented without having to declare it are often the most impressive to me, and Donahue may be on that list. Given that I think her vocal approach feels reminiscent of what the Riot Grrl format of the 90s like L7 and Le Tigre would become even makes me think we’re not giving her full appreciation.
For a band who sounded like they didn’t care, The Waitresses really had a way of drawing the listener in. Not bad for a band that started as a joke with a line-up that didn’t even exist. While I don’t know that they’re the most essential band covered yet, they’re further evidence on why I think that new wave as a genre is much more interesting than it gets credit for. While this is another record full of indie guitars and horns, it doesn’t sound like anything that’s come before. Even comparing the potential feminist read to X-Ray Spex suggests wildly different perspectives. Nothing about them feels connected to the larger list. They were avant-garde yet knew how to package a catchy song. They were exactly what you’d expect a band called The Waitresses to sound like. In that way, they were perfect.
Coming Up Next: Madness - "One Step Beyond..." (1979)
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