As everyone puts away the Halloween decorations and prepares all the tinsel and Black Friday deals, I figured it was a good time to quickly check in here and share where I’m at. At the start of August, I announced that I had plans to keep The Memory Tourist operating in a semi-functioning way. While I don’t think that I’ve gone too long between articles, there’s plenty of times where I’m sure it’s felt like I have missed the mark. For example, I wanted to keep A24 A-to-Z and Make It New as regularly released columns. I would’ve loved to have more film and music reviews up, but I haven’t. For that, I apologize.
I think that I have been fairly transparent with my shortcomings this season. There’s been a handful of mental roadblocks that came with contracting Coronavirus and it’s been a struggle to put all the boxes back in order. This is more in relation to external factors that I don’t discuss on here. Even if I’ve become more personal as the years have passed on, I have kept plenty private for my own integrity. It’s a lot of stuff around mental and physical health, or various family matters that don’t deserve to be mentioned on a public forum without consent. What I write here is largely about myself and I wish to keep it that way. Still, while I wouldn’t say I stumbled to the bottom of the hill and went all Sisyphus, I am the type who needs a plan to work to feel secure, and COVID-19 is anything but.
Because of that, I think that my general output on here hasn’t been as frequent as it has been. I have been trying to shift my attention back to school as we close in on the final month. That is where my attention is at when it’s not here. I’m trying to find a balance and for the most part, I came out of October with a fairly optimistic outlook. This was probably one of the better Halloweens I’ve had in years, and I am honestly looking forward to whatever November and December have to offer.
Which brings me to the point of this piece. I wanted to provide a brief update on where I was at (see also: the recent How I Live Now). As of now, I can’t promise that any regular columns are returning, though I’d love to say otherwise. With that said, we’re at a time of the year that I do love not so much because Christmas makes me giddy, but end of the year makes me self-reflective, looking back on the past 12 months and trying to assess everything that has happened. It’s why the Post-Christmas week is one of the best because the weather tends to be perfect and everyone’s feel good warmth lingers a little longer. There’s not a lot to worry about, just preparing for New Year’s Eve and watching the clock roll over to the great 2023.
It's silly to get worked up for this as early as November, but I will say that throughout October, I have made more of a concerted effort to try and find ways to make me feel validated and happy. I’m going to see Marc Maron in a week’s time, which is a goal I’ve had for well over a decade. Given that I’m approaching the end of my school life, I am also trying to figure out ways to prepare for the great unknown, if just to know that I’m preparing for my Mid-30s (!!!) in a way that makes me optimistic and hopeful.
What does this mean for The Memory Tourist? I think the easy answer is “More of the same.” I will try to double down on Short Stop in hopes of making up for lost time. I would love to get through William Faulkner’s “Collected Stories” by the end of December and possibly announce a (more manageable) goal for 2023. Other than that, I will run regular essays and columns when I see fit as well as the potential return of some more festive columns that I had planned for 2020 but dropped for whatever reason last year. I want to write about things I’m thankful for and maybe even drop a few words on a Christmas album that looks absolutely insane and unnecessary.
I’m also thinking of expanding my end of the year coverage. Along with my Top 25 Movies list, I am thinking about doing some variation of albums/songs that resonated with me over the past 12 months – though don’t expect it to be a conventional list. Beyond that, I’m still planning a piece on why Spencer (2022) is a great Thanksgiving movie and reflecting on things that I’m thankful for.
Right now, I’m doing what I can to stay optimistic and hopeful as we approach the winter holidays. On the one hand, the uneventful conventionality of Christmas will be annoying. I don’t know that every song needs jingle bells playing behind it. However, I am going to do my best to make this year matter and celebrate in a manner that makes me and those in my life happier. I don’t know that I’ll sell out and wear the chintzy feel-good pap, but I’ll try to make it count. If nothing else, some people don’t know what subtle means, so decoration season is about to get very vivid. Who knows. Maybe I’ll have enough material to write an essay on it if an idea strikes.
For now, I felt it was important to stop by and talk about not so much what’s going on but where I’m at. For the moment, I am happy. I am looking forward to the months ahead and want to believe that I’ll make the most of them. I’m hoping that I’ll remain in good health and maybe even end the year with more energy. Overall 2022 has been a bit of a lull year, but one that I’ve been greatly thankful for in a lot of different ways. I’m hoping as we approach the end of the year to reflect on how I really felt. It’s been a good year, thankfully. It may have not always looked that way, but I promise you it was. Stick around and I’ll tell you why.
Comments
Post a Comment