Right now, we exist in the paradoxical month known as January. On the one hand, everything deemed significant is over. We are in a year’s infancy that is likely to be forgotten as it blossoms next December. And yet, it’s surreal to think that so much has already happened to make 2024 a meaningful year. Kid Cudi graced Long Beach with a random-ass statue to promote his new album “Insano.” The Oscars announced one of their best line-ups in at least six years. Green Day came out with one of their best albums since “21st Century Breakdown.” Mean Girls (2024) proved that Renee Rapp and Jaquel Spivey are movie stars in the making. If this is where we start, imagine where things will go.
Obviously, I’m a bit conflicted on how to start this because I didn’t do a proper entry for 2023. I was too wrapped up in late-year festivities to the point talking about my Christmas season felt a bit overkill. All in all, it was one of my best years in a long time and I’m grateful to have a loving, caring family that made it matter. We also got caught up in the women’s college volleyball tournament which was an intense (and frustrating) fight to the finish. While The Big West failed to show up, I’m still grateful to have been in person at their qualifying tournament, specifically when CSULB beat the undefeated (minus one) Santa Barbara. It was such a good time. Given that we’re gunning for men’s volleyball this month, I am psyched to see if they can take things further.
Beyond that, I also got to see what I’m just dubbing “the musical trilogy” not because of any thematic reason other than they all came out within a month of each other. You best believe I was there for all of them and am happy to report that this round was mostly successful. Even if I haven’t seen a flat-out modern classic since In the Heights (2021), I am happy to report that The Color Purple (2023) comes very close and makes me hopeful that Blitz Bazawule will continue to make interesting and provocative movie musicals down the line. Despite its deviation from other takes, I also am a big fan of the joyful Wonka (2023) which has all the sugar-coated whimsy I needed this season. Mean Girls… well, Mean Girls is complicated. Come back in a few days for some thoughts on that one.
With all that said, January has been a fantastic month for me. I think a large part of it is just that I’m not down with COVID-19 right now. A lot of Post-Christmas 2022 was being taken down by the virus and having a weakened immune system. Add in one of Southern California’s more historic rain seasons that lasted almost three months, and there was a lot of objectionable elements in the air that were making me sick. Sure, it’s been overcast most days with occasional warmth, but for some reason, I’m able to stick it out. I feel agile and able to keep moving. Things are going well, so far!
I think there is a part of me that is still nervous about wherever the road ahead will take us. Despite my good health now, I am aware of the news that the coronavirus is picking back up and having a unique debilitation that I don’t want. I’ve contemplated getting the new vaccination though haven’t set any appointment. With that said, I do worry about where things could go. It’s crazy to think that we’re approaching five years since that fatal announcement. Time has become more of a surreal concept, and I feel it’s especially true this January when New Year’s feels like it was only two days ago.
But yeah, it’s going to be a bumpy road ahead. I personally will have to make a life plan and be “somewhere” meaningful by the end of the year to have any pride. It’s a bit unnerving because I need to relearn how to think like that and develop skills that will become useful as an English major.
Beyond that, I am curious to know where America as a country winds up by November. It’s scary and exhausting to think that this might just be a repeat of 2020. Because of the powers that be, that was the first election in my lifetime that I actively couldn’t follow because it was too depressing to be reminded of the potential doom one party could produce. In fact, I think their long con has been in effect in very damaging ways. I’m reminded of how last month athlete Riley Gaines tried to out a transgender volleyball player and called the NCAA “cowardly.” The discourse is exhausting and honestly, I just can’t. Even Dave Chappelle is just playing the hits at this point, and it feels like queer discourse on a public spectrum is growing worse. I’m sorry… I just can’t.
But yeah, I think it hurts to turn on the local news and get the updates on the caucuses that are as inevitable as they come. Whereas things used to mean something when candidates showed up to Iowa and New Hampshire, right now it feels like we’re approaching an endgame. There isn’t a wrench in the gears right now that is changing the inevitable, and it sucks. On the one hand, Ron DeSantis has failed and that’s nice. Even then, you want to believe that both parties would put forward candidates who seem a bit more… spry. It just makes this all feel like we’re holding onto an old way of doing things that is growing old and ineffective. On one side, you could get four years of potential mediocrity and underperformance… or you get terrorism. Elections used to be fun. This is just uncomfortable.
To start swaying things back towards the good, I did get around to listening to Against Me!’s “Transgender Dysphoria Blues.” The album celebrated its 10th anniversary this year and for reasons unclear to myself, I never actually listened to it. The Laura Jane Grace story always interested me (and the co-author of her book guested on the 90s Percentile podcast that I used to enjoy), but I was never a big fan of the band when I was younger. I knew of them from the Rock Against Bush compilations and while “Sink, Florida, Sink” was great, it never motivated me to listen to more. I think on some level the more political punk bands intimidated me because they rarely felt “personal.” Obviously, Against Me!’s 2014 album was a different story, but outside of listening to “Trans Soul Rebel” for an article a few years back that I assume now reads as very didactic, this was going to be a new experience.
I suppose a big reason it would hit differently is that I didn’t engage with transgender politics on a meaningful level until I read Sally Jane Black’s Letterboxd review of The Danish Girl (2015) which opened my eyes to a perspective outside the cisnormative. I’ve tried to engage with media representation in a meaningful way since, and I think after nine years I have grown more empathetic and connected to those types of stories. It also helps that I would never accuse Grace of making one of those hollow “loud and proud” mantras that I’m sure speak to someone, but what I want is authenticity and experience.
What Against Me! provides is a searing portrait of understanding identity. It’s a brutal record that exists equally in bluntness and metaphor. Over 28 minutes, you get the full perspective of how Grace sees herself in the world. You are alongside her discomfort and sadness as she witnesses a world that maybe doesn’t want her. But you also get to see what is beautiful and makes life worth living. Something about “Paralytic States” brought me to tears, even though it could just be that the album as a whole was one of the most overwhelming music experiences I’ve had in a bit. It’s honest and raw and makes me curious to see what else she has to say. During a time when it felt like mainstream media was maybe trying to commodify the experiences in a marketable way, something about “Transgender Dysphoria Blues” being as uncompromising as it is makes me love it more.
Another thing about January 2024 that has surprised me is that I have gone to a movie theater almost weekly. This is the first month in a long time where that’s been true, and I think it speaks to how much quality work is out there. I would especially recommend American Fiction (2023) which feels like a companion piece to Dear White People (2014) in reflecting a post-modern approach to Black racial identity in 21st century America. I’m very happy for Jeffrey Wright getting an Oscar nomination and I wish him luck. I’m also happy to see Colman Domingo in the line-up for Rustin (2023), who has been a great actor for years and has made the most of this awards season and is one of two openly queer actors nominated this year for playing queer characters alongside Jodie Foster in Nyad (2023) – a fact that I am told is an Academy first. I hope that continues to evolve because the Stephanie Hsu nomination last year is still meaningful to me because of how it reflected a different type of queer character we didn’t often see. But anyway, American Fiction also had Sterling K. Brown as another offbeat queer character who actually had a speech about how he wishes he was honest with his dad before he passed that hit me harder than I thought. Speaking of Foster, she’s also been great in this season of True Detective and I’m glad to have the quality weirdness back. Also, before I end this trainwreck of a paragraph, I want to say that I love Laura Karpman’s score and am happy to see it in the mix.
Also, Edgar Wright liked something I wrote on Twitter about All of Us Strangers (2023), which I hope isn’t buried in the theatrical release. To be completely honest, it’s a mundane accomplishment but one that makes me happy given how long I’ve admired his work. I’m mostly happy to have seen an Andrew Haigh trailer in theaters so often. I’m sad that Paul Mescal couldn’t land another nomination, but them’s the brakes.
I’m also happy to see Zone of Interest getting nominations. While I haven’t seen it yet, Jonathan Glazer’s one of those overdue names and it’s still criminal that Under the Skin (2014) missed the boat a decade ago. From what I’ve heard, it’s a surreal experience and one I can’t wait to be immersed in. Can’t say that I’ll love it as much as Under the Skin, but then again I’ve lived with that film for so long that we’re one and the same at times. If nothing else, I’m curious to finally get my hands on the Mica Levi score.
In lighter news, I have been adding a bunch of new podcasts to my listening diet to get a different view of the world. One of them is Jeanette McCurdy’s Hard Feelings, which is a short confessional style that appeals to some aspects of me trying to be more vulnerable and honest with myself. I was a big fan of her WTF interview and have been curious to pick up “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” but always felt self-conscious picking it up given its flamboyant cover. She carries over her rawness very well and I like her stories. It’s a nice companion piece to Hidden Brain, which I finally jumped into, and has helped me to reconsider the way I perceive and process the world around me. Finally, as a casual fan of Alaska Reid’s music, I am happy to say that her podcast Songminer has a lot of quality analysis of writing and producing music that’s worth checking out if you’re into more indie stuff.
Moving into sports, there’s been a lot going down that probably deserves a quick mention. Yesterday I learned that Nneka Ogwumike is leaving The Los Angeles Sparks. Part of me is sad because she was our star player, and it was hard to go to a game without being aware of her. I went to four games, and she was a major reason the team did as well as they did. With that said, I respect her wishes and only hope for the best for her moving forward. Thanks for the memories and I can only hope The Sparks find something new to build around. If nothing else, I hope we get someone good because they’re playing their early season at The Pyramid at CSULB, and I can’t wait to see some action on my home court.
Beyond that, I do think that I owe The Los Angeles Clippers a quick apology. Right after James Harden was traded, I called it a failure sight unseen. While there’s a part of me that still worries that our post-season curse will kick into gear in a few months, right now it’s been thrilling to see The Clippers rebound as an unstoppable force. Even Kawhi Leonard is playing some high-caliber basketball. As much as this could be The Brooklyn Nets situation all over again, I am hopeful that there’s a drive and momentum here that will only continue to build. So with all that said, I must apologize to my team and hope it continues to last.
Though I’m also going to apologize to The Milwaukee Bucks for hiring Doc Rivers as coach. As someone alive and cognizant during the notorious playoff series where The Clippers blew a 3-1 lead, I can only hope he treats you better. I like the guy’s bluntness and honesty, but I also think Tyronne Lieu has been a better fit with the team and has gotten us further. Here’s hoping he does better with you.
Other than that, I am happy to say that I got to meet CSULB’s men’s basketball team earlier this month and found them to be great individuals. They’re young and having fun. What’s probably the most interesting thing is how much press The Traore’s are getting. One can hope that it builds to something because they are really good players on a team full of them. I know they’re probably not going to make The Draft quite like other schools, but at least they beat Bronny James in his inaugural game in front of his dad. That’s an honor you can’t take away. I can’t say that the women’s did better against Juju Watkins, but I’ll just say she’s got a great career ahead of her.
As I round the end, I want to give a quick shout-out to Blue Eye Samurai, which is a Netflix animated series that I had heard great things about. Finally seeing it, I am happy to report it’s one of the most visually dazzling experiences I had from all of last year. The storytelling and voice acting are also top notch and I’m thrilled to see where things will go. I’m also happy to report that the war between “which is better?” is back on between True Detective and Fargo. It’s just like the good old days. How sweet it is. If you’re wanting a bit of a different spice, check out Murder at the End of the World. Anyway, it’s a good time for TV and it’s only going to get more fun. Feud is coming up very soon. I also want to shout out The Vince Staples Show, which I’m unsure if it’s as Atlanta-y as I think, but happy to see people from my neck of the woods succeeding.
And… drumroll, please… I am officially done with my first draft of the next novel. While I still have an unplanned 2025 release date in mind, something is fulfilling about having it done. Given that it’s much more ambitious and experimental than my previous two, I want to believe that it will be my most satisfying. For now, I can only provide this update, but I’m proud of the work I’ve done and am going to take a break so that I can shift my attention to other things. Hopefully, you’ll one day see what I see in it.
Oh, if you want to follow, I have a fun game going on over at Spotify where I’m recommending a song a day. It’s more to see where my head is at during any given period. This is what it looks like up through January 25, the day this article was submitted.
January has been a mediocre month overall for me, but I’m planning to make the most of the year ahead. It still feels special and new. I’m hoping that it will go better than the last. While it was a meaningful period, 2023 was so amorphous emotionally that I still don’t know how to feel about it. For now, I am pushing forward and going to try to make the most of it. I already have a few accomplishments to my name. Now I need to get more. Only time will tell what happens, so I may as well make the most of it.
To all my readers, I hope that you have an amazing 2024 and that we get through this year better than we were going into it. I don’t know that we’ll get there, but at least hopefully we’ll do it together in a way that counts.
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