To be totally honest, there is a solid reason to argue that Holey Moley is the pinnacle of summer entertainment in 2020. In a time when the world is on fire and nothing makes sense, sometimes all you need to cheer yourself up is a bunch of people playing extreme mini-golf. While the second season suffered a decrease in amusing Steph Curry cameos, it was an even bigger and more insane season where you just had to stare in awe that they’d get away with something so profound. How do you make a sport so milquetoast into something that is almost deserving of a Johnny Knoxville cameo?
That is the beauty of the show. Everyone knowingly gives into a show that is equal part sensation as it is talent, finding people from around the country wanting to make a difference on the course. Their confidence, often packed with eccentric backstories, creates the perfect cartoonish celebration of competition, where it feels like everyone is taking it seriously, but only until they get knocked into the fathoms below by a giant rubber ducky. You can’t be on Holey Moley unless you’re good-hearted, making even the tensest face-off into something delightful.
Most of all, it’s the slapstick of it all that makes every episode worthy of watching. As much as you can get lost in the strategy of getting the ball to the hole, you’re just as invested in overcoming these ridiculous obstacles. As the show ends its second season, I feel like it’s a good time to highlight the various holes that have personally left a great impression on me, eager to watch how each new competitor will fare against something as simple as a hole, or jumping across a series of planets to avoid falling into a lake below.
Sure, they’re not all successful (please drop Diving Range next season), but more often than not they’re just a great time. That is why I’m highlighting the holes that have left me eager to watch every episode, hoping to see someone defy the odds and come out with this triumphant hero. I’m excited to see what will happen next on the show that those like Don’t and The Floor is Lava tries to be but honestly can’t. Nothing can compare to the simple magic of Holey Moley, and here are five reasons why you should probably watch a few episodes the next time that you’re feeling down.
1. Mt. Holey Moley (Season One), Polcano (Season Two)
While the show got mileage in the advertisements from the windmills, the real obstacle that perfectly described “extreme mini-golf” was this hole that had small adjustments between seasons but remains largely the same otherwise. The crux is simple: you putt a ball up a mountain and into a tube that determines how close or far you are from the hole. It’s one of the details that got improved upon in season two, when this aspect was given a Plinko upgrade, making the angle of hitting the ball only one of the obstacles of getting to your destination. You had to wade through roadblocks that could take you from a clean shot to somewhere less pleasant.
The second half is one of the best for highlight reels for one simple reason. You have to glide down a zipline towards the hole. In season one, you landed on an inflatable raft. In season two, you had to grab a pole. While some have seen the bar break and others have fallen before they get halfway there, there’s plenty of comedy to be had with watching people propel through the air into pools of water. Those who hit the pole often will do a full rotation before being flung off, making it all this tremendous form of entertainment. Add in announcers Rob Riggle and Joe Tessitore providing color commentary, and you have one of the best-produced replay packages on the entire show.
It’s not afraid to slow down and revel in this odd sight. While the hole from here is conventional, it’s the first half that feels packed with creative triumph, leaving you in suspense every time. If the Plinko board doesn’t entertain you, then the even more direct comedy of potential injury from great heights will. It’s even fun with the zipline stalls out, leaving contestants stranded mid-air. For something so straightforward, there are endless ways to mine this for comedy as well as strategy, making you appreciate the craft of this whole endeavor all the more.
2. Hole Number Two (Season Two)
Much like Polcano, this is a hole that mostly relies on the humor people of falling headfirst into a pool of water. Add in a slightly dirty name and you’ll have Riggle and Tessitore using their free time to make dumb jokes. The premise is straightforward: you have to putt across a narrow stretch of land with an even narrower gap for a successful putt on the other side. If you miss, there is a board that will knock your ball into a great unknown, making it difficult to do a proper shot.
The real magic comes in this next part, where the hole gets its true name. The narrow space is in front of a row of porta potties that are timed to open after a few seconds. Your goal as a player is to run to the other side before that moment comes. While it’s suspect how long that actually is, there are two different emotions you’ll have watching this. Either you’ll laugh from a door directly flying into someone’s face at a healthy sprint, or your hopelessness will turn into cries of joy at the few who defy the odds and make it to the other side. For a small portion of the obstacle, it manages to provide so many opportunities for heart-pounding action.
It also helps that everyone behind the doors is dressed in costumes that exist in this strange Holey Moley world, where Sir Goph (a gopher) and a giant bug can all exist. While the hole from here is conventional, it’s this area that will always fill the viewer with some anticipation and hope that this time will be different. Maybe they’ll make it across this time. If not, you can always do what one guy did and try to slowly go across while pushing doors shut. I’ll just say that this didn’t end well for him, and I’m confident you’re better just taking the hit.
3. Dutch Courage (Season One), Double Dutch Courage (Season Two)
There wasn’t a hole that defined Holey Moley in early marketing quite like this. After all, it’s the most direct connection to mini-golf that the show has. Who doesn’t remember going to a course and trying to shoot through the blades? Well, what if you blew that up several sizes and had to run through them to complete the hole? If you weren’t so fortunate, you’d be knocked by a blade into a tulip or the water below. If that wasn’t enough, the show decided to add an extra blade to both (both!) halves of the hole, if just to make things much more interesting.
Like the best of these, there are two emotions you can expect to feel when watching this. Either you’re about to watch somebody go down, or a selective run will get you through both blades. It’s as fun to watch the attacks as it is those who find creative ways to get through. Even as episodes continue to pile up, every few will present a new way of challenging this hole. It’s one of the most strategic and gradual creations on the entire course. While I’m not a fan of the extra blade, the impact of the hole is still an exciting experience every time out.
4. Putt the Plank (Season Two)
This is a hole of simple pleasure for me. As you can guess, I am a fan of the holes that have a literal sink or swim quality to them. As an extension of Season One’s Caddysmack, it features actor “Long Jon” Lovitz putting the ball for every contestant across a river. The catch is that the first opponent gets him to chip it while wearing one eyepatch while the other person has to deal with him wearing two. Trust me, it’s worked much better than you’d expect. From there, he’ll encourage you to “walk the plank” and have to cross the path to the hole on the other side.
The issue with this is that you have to mount a rotating shark that swims below. It’s a course that favors athleticism, or at least strategic jumping. Even then, the terror isn’t enough. You’ll still need to get to the other side on an inflatable raft that has been known to sink the best of intentioned players. There are multiple points where comedy can be drawn from this hole, and the triumphant journey is even sweeter. It makes for an engrossing and clever experience that never ceases to be entertaining, even with Lovitz adding comical asides every now and then for good measure.
5. Uranus (Season Two)
This hole is an improvement over Season One’s Arc de Trigolf, which took “extreme” to an overbearing peak. Whereas that version was all about agility, Uranus found ways to make it more of a gradual journey that required more focus on each aspect of things. As the title suggests, it’s designed like the solar system, having to shoot the ball around the rings of Uranus. Depending on your shot, it will either be close (in one case a hole in one), or way off. Add in Riggle and Tessitore making juvenile jokes about “your anus,” and you get the hole’s appeal in a nutshell.
The first shot is daunting, full of a strategy that you can’t appreciate from the starting point. It requires a towering shot that only the best will figure out based on how much momentum they give the shot. From there, you cross the pool below, jumping from planet to planet until you get to the other side. It’s an intense part that finds the best running across while everyone else clutches onto the balls for dear life, hoping not to fall in. Everything from there is simple, but getting to the hole is one of the most difficult challenges on the entire course. It’s also one of the most enjoyable when it goes horribly wrong.
Honorable Mention
Caddysmack (Season One)
There isn’t a lot to this hole and in every way Putt the Plank does it better. However, one of the immediate appeals of Holey Moley was the chance to see Steph Curry tell dad jokes and hang out with his fans. While season two saw him doing more animated sequences, nothing will compare to the opportunity to see him play golf for a few minutes every week, getting into a fight with a robot (voiced by Riggle) who had been programmed to have the perfect shot. Those who loved Curry made this hole an endearing part of the show, and it’s frankly the only thing that Lovitz is lacking. If he was more of a renowned star, maybe that hole would be even better.
The truth is that the downplay of Curry in the second season has been an odd beast. On the one hand, it makes sense given his hand injury that likely put him into rehab for months on end. Still, it’s strange how little he feels present in the show, being replaced by comical bits with Riggle. It still works, but unless the season finale delivers on something more triumphant and exciting from Curry and his “Tomb of Nefertiti,” then that will be the only way that this season hasn’t been an improvement over the first. Otherwise, it’s a show that only gets better with each passing year. Who knows what other insane ideas they’ll have next year if and when they’re allowed to film.
What are your favorite Holey Moley holes? Did I miss any?
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