It was 20 years ago this month that Billie Joe Armstrong sang, “Summer has come and passed/The innocent will never last/Wake me up when September ends.” As one of the major singles from “American Idiot,” it was an emotional response to the casualties of war. It’s a brilliant song worthy of its place in the larger pantheon. However, it’s hard to not remember that 20 years ago on Monday, I was taking to Myspace message boards to tell Green Day fans that September was over. I’ve rarely been on the cutting edge of trends, but I was there before it truly became a meme. Never underestimate the power of a 15-year-old with a keyboard and nothing meaningful to say.
I like to think in the 20 years since that I’ve found something worth sharing. In this case, I’m relieved to know this month is over for personal reasons. Around the start of the month, Long Beach featured its own record-breaking heatwave. After getting through June, July, and August without triple digits, we were given five straight days over 100°. By the end, I was having trouble sleeping because the temperature on that last night at midnight would be the high for the next day around 4 PM. As someone who doesn’t have air conditioning, maneuvering through it was difficult and even my efforts caused me to feel claustrophobic and in need of leaving my house.
Because of that, I ended up spending the nights outdoors just staring at Southern California’s light pollution. Maybe I’d pull out a book and headphones and just take in the breeze. Whatever the case may be, it was an odd start to a month that has felt like a fever dream. It’s the type of month where we get to days that are 85° and I just shrug now like, “That’s fine.” I understand that compared to other regions this is child’s play, but I’m sure even Arizona and their month-long 110° extravaganza would acknowledge how much they’d rather not sweat.
Similarly, I’d love to not turn on the news and be made aware of Fire Season. It’s one of my least favorite parts of living in Southern California and has caused me distress at points. There was a time around 2020 where fires were getting so bad that the smoke wafted over my house (many miles away) and I found those days overbearing. I don’t know if I’ve said it, but I genuinely dislike fireplaces now because of how traumatic I find fires to be. They’re a logistical nightmare with no rational solution for the fleeing families. I wish everyone impacted by The Bridge Fire and the other two that they’re safe and that everything is salvageable.
Meanwhile, there has been a lot of putting out fires in different manners. Living in America, it’s hard to not be aware of the presidential election. As someone who watches local news most nights, I’m really tired of that Mamas and the Papas “California Dreaming” interpolation about rent. I’m not saying it’s unimportant, but I don’t like hearing someone yell, “I WORK TOO DAMN HARD!” every commercial break. So yeah, while my neck of the woods is seeing mostly the bipartisan materials, it’s still obnoxious. Also, can this state find another song besides “California Dreaming” to shill stuff with? The Lottery thought they were onto something with that one. I think Wong Kar-Wai was the last person who did anything clever with it.
I respect those who are getting people inspired to vote. It’s an important process and one that every citizen has the right to. It’s been especially interesting to see how things are playing out with the younger crowd. It feels very reminiscent of 2008 when I first voted for Barack Obama. Then again, Kamala Harris is a figure I’ve been aware of since 2015 and think is the most optimistic about a candidate I can be. Part of it is simply putting California in The White House. Otherwise, her track record is just so impressive that I believe she’s capable of change. While there’s some flashbacks to 2016 that linger in the back of my mind even still, I’m trying to make it to November 5 with sanity intact.
I am aware in a previous How I Live Now entry that I complimented J.D. Vance. It wasn’t high praise necessarily, but I still said he spoke eloquently in comparison to his colleagues. It’s been difficult to really defend that line because he’s continually stepped on the same hate-filled rake. I ended up watching the presidential debate and felt optimistic that enough people will get it this time. If nothing else, Harris’ narrative felt more focused and really laid home how much we need age restrictions for any presidential candidacy. I know people highlighted other lines as funnier or deranged, but Harris saying that she’d help protect seniors from online scams really felt like it was geared at somebody who talked about prisoners getting bottom surgery.
For as much as I’ve been on the bandwagon of making fun of the “They’re eating the dogs” line, I do think it’s in part because I need to laugh to keep from crying. I am still unsure why Republicans as a party want to endorse such exclusionary attitudes, but it’s your funeral. At the same time, I think it’s hard to see it totally as farcical given that this rhetoric has had negative real world consequences. I bring back the online scams part because it does feel like it’s a party buying conspiracy theories from AI images. There is a need to regulate this stuff before humanity loses all meaning. For now, it has been especially tragic for the Haitian population in Springfield, OH who have had constant threats since that day. When Vance comes out and says he’ll fabricate a story just to emphasize the problem, it really does discredit his whole damn career. Shysters are usually better about keeping the quiet part quiet. Add in that a candidate has recently come under fire for calling himself a Black Nazi on a porn website while enjoying transgender videos (which goes against his public platform), and you have arguably one of the most disastrous months for a political party in the 21st century. We really need to start working back towards civility.
For as much as my mind should be moving towards October and preparing to give out full-sized bars to people dressed as Rachel Gunn, I think the election has been on my mind since January and even before. Is it possible that things can be course corrected? I don’t believe that things can work that quickly. For as much as I want to believe people see the truth in plain sight, I still think of 2016 and felt like that was fairly obvious. I remain nervous and hope that we don’t sacrifice freedom on the guy who has now survived two assassination attempts and hasn’t learned the least bit of empathy.
For me personally, September has been a month of trying to rebound after a tough summer. While there have been a lot of amazing memories, my misery lingered in the background. It was anxiety-ridden with a lot of lingering emotions that festered into something uncomfortable. Part of it could be chalked up to the election, but it was also a handful of private circumstances. The most prominent were the passing of my cat Meathead and contracting Coronavirus for the third time in my life. There’s something about the disease that always puts me in a sour mood and it didn’t help that it was the crescendo after months of unease.
I don’t know who has tried to recover after a period of being “on edge,” but it’s not one that goes away quickly. I hope to get into an essay later on what the past few months have felt like to me. For now I will say that living with several conflicts that I’ll summarize as “a lack of control” really did a number on me. I don’t think I was able to fully engage with the world around me. I did my best to ignore stories that I knew would upset me – such as a transphobic controversy regarding The Olympics – but at some point it made me feel more alone. While I’m grateful this experience hasn’t been worse, you still don’t want to feel at war with your body.
To the best of my ability, I’ve tried to take care of myself by coping in healthier ways. While my patterns have often been to engage with dark emotions, I found letting myself give into small comforts. This included a small marathon of Paul Thomas Anderson movies, including two that I hadn’t seen in many years. Did you know that Punch Drunk Love (2002) is a masterpiece? Well, it is. I’d go one step further and say that Jon Brion’s score is an all-timer and I’ve had it on repeat ever since. I am less enamored with my second watch of Magnolia (1999) which I admire for its ambitions but as a piece of art I enjoy, it is not quite there. Even then, that weekend was a reminder of one reason I enjoy being alive. I get to exist at the same time as Anderson, who is maybe the best filmmaker Southern California has produced. I say that hyperbolically, but I also think few have captured the intricacies of this region with more clarity and heart than he has. The Coen Brothers will always be my number one, but Anderson might be my second favorite director.
I’m also a fan of The Boy and the Heron (2023) which dropped on Max recently. I wasn’t in the mood to catch it in theaters, and I have regret. Whereas I imagined it was going to be this meandering late career work, Hayao Miyazaki delivered a one of a kind experience that ranks among my favorite things he’s done. The existentialist debate that enters the back half is beautiful and I love the immersion of story. Another “comfort watch” trend for this year has been filling in my gaps for Studio Ghibli, and I have to say the obvious. They know how to tell stories. Miyazaki especially has a craft that is empathetic and speaks to our humanity. I love it.
I’d go on and on (1917 (2019) still knocks me out), but that would defeat the pacing of this larger piece. All I’m going to say about 2024 in cinema is that this is shaping up to be my most underwhelming year for new releases possibly ever. I’m just not finding a lot of art that speaks to me. Maybe it’s the aforementioned depression, but it could also be that the titles I want to see (small indie dramas) aren’t being properly distributed. I’ve spent most of my time in theaters seeing horror movies this year because they’re the closest thing I can get to challenging the form. As it stands, I’m contemplating whether it’s worth seeing The Substance (2024) because I love Margaret Qualley but I am burned out on only seeing genre works. Even if I’m looking forward to Megalopolis (2024), I’m aware it might not be Francis Ford Coppola’s finest hour.
Also, given that I have zero interest in Joker Folie A Deux (2024), there isn’t much to really draw me right now. Even with the news of Lady Gaga doing a Harley Quinn-inspired album for it doesn’t amp me up because Todd Phillips seems too heterosexual to make a musical that’s actually enjoyable. Given that Joker (2019) had a thesis that it poorly backed up, I have trouble believing that he’ll make this one any more nuanced. The only way I’ll be on board is if this ends up being a comic book version of Dancer In the Dark (2000). If it’s not, is it truly the dark, fucked up nightmare the trailers are selling it as? With that said, I’m willing to give Hildur Guonadottir’s score a spin because she’s done great work. I especially love Women Talking (2022) and think there’s room for her to get even more interesting with new motifs.
With all this said, Venom: The Last Dance (2024) is coming and you best believe I’m here for that. In Tom Hardy we trust.
Remi Wolf’s “Big Ideas” has been a fun party record that’s gotten me through some tough days. I love her energy and carefree attitude. She’s so shameless and in the moment that she inspires me to try and be more outgoing. If nothing else, she knows how to write a hook. That “Cinderella” line about “Me and the boys in the hotel lobby”? Perfection! I expect to see it making the rounds whenever I compile my Best of 2024 list. I’m also a fan of Hinds’ “Viva Hinds” if just because it has the right levels of indie rock that I want.
With all that said, Allegra Krieger’s “Art of the Unseen Infinity Machine” may be my favorite record since Clairo’s “Charm.” I’ve been a fan of hers for awhile now, but this feels like one of her most focused and accomplished works that I’ve heard form her. It could be that it ties into a lot of emotions that I’m grappling with at the moment, but it’s another record that I can’t stop playing. I love her candidness and storytelling. It joins the ranks of Cassandra Jenkins, Lucy Rose, Katie Pruitt, and Faye Webster for records that I’m vibing with for mood-boosting reasons.
The record that I’m least pleased to include here is Sophie’s posthumous entry. Whereas I wanted to listen and have a lot to say about it, I ended up feeling a bit disappointed. Part of it is just the reality that it’s not a record that has her voice. It has a lot of her production – and it is fantastic – but it’s clear that this is going for more her role as producer. If catharsis can be found, it’s in the contributors getting to use the melodies for their personal benefit. I don’t love most of it, but I think there’s something endearing about 2024 being a year we pay tribute to a musical genius who was gone too soon (see also: A.G. Cook and Charli XCX). I will say that of everything on “Sophie,” I am mostly a fan of Hannah Diamond and Cecile Believe’s work. Even then, I don’t know that anything on here appeals to me as much as the Hyd album, which has a lot of Sophie influence and in some ways becomes haunting by it being released posthumously.
Finally, I recently attended a performance of The Cher Show and had a great time. I am not of the generation who fawns over her, but I will say the show does a great job of making me want to seek out her work. I’m more of an album person, so I’ll probably be researching her work to see which is best indicative of a performer who strikes me as very much a singles performer.
To start looking forward, I want to emphasize the sports half of this month’s entry. For starters, we are quickly approaching the semifinals for The WNBA and we got two amazing match-ups. While it’s predictable that the Top 4 would get this far, I think going forward it’s harder to pin down. As much as I want The Las Vegas Aces to get that third victory, I’m not entirely opposed to the other three standing their ground. The Connecticut Sun are maybe the most blood thirsty of the pack and I think their prior playoffs performances speak to that urge. I mostly want The New York Liberty to lose because they’re my sister’s team, but even they are an admirable group with an unstoppable line-up. What I’m trying to say is that while Round 1 was a bit complacent and familiar, Round 2 is where the real magic begins to shine.
Meanwhile, I can’t say that I am as enthusiastic for the upcoming NBA season. This isn’t to say that I’m not excited to watch games, but this is looking to be the first year where I just totally lose interest in The Los Angeles Clippers. As a longtime defender, I feel that they’ve made some post-season trades that greatly impact how I see the team. Even with an amazing bench, their lack of leadership has taken its toll and the two players I thought could push them to the next level (Paul George and Russell Westbrook) are gone. What’s left is the unreliable Kawhi Leonard and the flaky James Harden. With an ensemble, maybe I get it. As leaders, they’re both hasbeens who are frankly embarrassing as the face of an organization. I’ll keep an eye on them and hope for the best, but it’s not even fun to root for them over The Los Angeles Lakers and that dumb Bronny James press. They’re just sad and I think it’s going to be a dark season. If I do go to The Intuit Dome, I’m more than confident I’ll be rooting for the away team. Otherwise, I am not terribly motivated to go right now.
To move onto things that I am interested in going to… NCAA women’s volleyball season is upon us! At the time of this publication, I am a week away from attending my second game of the season and first of the regular Big West run. Given that Cal State Fullerton is coming off of a season where they won a single game, it’s been exciting to see them have better luck in the preseason. They beat Gonzaga and have overall an impressive four wins on their record. While Saturday’s game will see them playing C-SUN, I hope it goes differently. Last year I went during a time that was so bleak that a home game had more C-SUN fans than Fullerton people accounted for.
Meanwhile, CSULB is going strong. Even with a change in coach, I think the core is still strong. I went to see them play Pepperdine last week and it was so much fun. While I always root for The Beach, I love that The P-Waves know how to bring the energy and keep things unpredictable. I can’t say we’re at a place where we’re unstoppable or have a major win on par with beating No. 1 Texas last year, but the promise is still there. I love the anticipation and hope to be at a few more games before too long.
For now, I am driving around and noticing the local CVS buildings turning into Spirit Stores. I’m anticipating what the month ahead will bring, especially as the final three months feel preoccupied with festivities. This is one of the last periods before things truly pick up and suddenly every week feels distracted by something greater. As it stands, I have a handful of live theater shows on the calendar in the near future (Waitress!). There are things I’m doing to make myself happy and feel accomplished.
There’s also announcements that I hope to have ready to share in the very near future. Possibly even before September is out. While I don’t know that it’s worthy of a “quit your day job” level boasting, I do think it’s a step in a direction that I have been wanting to take for years now. Fingers crossed that it goes well.
For now, I end September ready to wake up and take on whatever else this year has to share. It’s been a rough, uneven period for me but I like to think it builds character and has given me time to appreciate what’s important. I don’t know that it’s always apparent to me, but that just means I need to step back and notice the scenery around me. It may take time, but when I see it, I’m sure it will be beautiful.
In closing, I want to share a friendly reminder. October 1 is the anniversary of the streaming release of Diana the Musical (2021). If you’re anyone who’s anyone, I encourage you to watch this once in a generation achievement in filmmaking and start the spooky season on a bit of a queer note. Otherwise, I’m hoping to be in the right head space for Halloween season. I haven’t been great at getting there and I feel like 2024 threatened to be one of them. However, things are clearing up and I’m feeling a little campy right now. Fingers crossed that I’ll be able to fit in some scary movies and enjoy the pageantry. It is a lovely time of year that I just have never been motivated to participate in. If anything, I chaperone my nieces to see what everyone else is doing. Good job, by the way. Maybe one year I’ll get there, but I’m not feeling it yet. I hope you can convince me with a good fright. Let’s see what you got!
Comments
Post a Comment